Yea... this is pretty much what I want right now... Too much to ask for?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Caution... This is X-Rated
I want to have sex...
TMI? Close your browser then...
OK... back to what I was saying. I want to have sex... I'm human no?
I want that sex that has no limits cause he knows what you like already but he does it like he's never explored your body. I want him to f.ck me like he missed me. I want him to know that I love getting my neck and back kissed, and that I love the feeling of skin to skin. I want him to kiss my breast like they were his life source. That I don't mind him pulling my hair cause the rough sh.t turns me on. I liked to be ordered, unless I'm on top... then I run sh.t... I want the feeling of it being the first time without the awkwardness... every time. I want it in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the floor. I want my hair gel nearby cause I don't expect my wrap to last. I want him to know I'm loud but know how to quiet me down. I want him to make my eyes roll, my toes curl and my body shake...
I Want Him...
Now, if I only had a him...lol
TMI? Close your browser then...
OK... back to what I was saying. I want to have sex... I'm human no?
I want that sex that has no limits cause he knows what you like already but he does it like he's never explored your body. I want him to f.ck me like he missed me. I want him to know that I love getting my neck and back kissed, and that I love the feeling of skin to skin. I want him to kiss my breast like they were his life source. That I don't mind him pulling my hair cause the rough sh.t turns me on. I liked to be ordered, unless I'm on top... then I run sh.t... I want the feeling of it being the first time without the awkwardness... every time. I want it in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the floor. I want my hair gel nearby cause I don't expect my wrap to last. I want him to know I'm loud but know how to quiet me down. I want him to make my eyes roll, my toes curl and my body shake...
I Want Him...
Now, if I only had a him...lol
Back Like I Never Left...
Im Back...
But Not Really...
My vacation was amazing and definitely needed. I got to be free from a week of stress and nonsense, and just enjoy myself. Now that I am back in NY, my whole outlook is different. I stepped off the plane to walk into bullsh*t. I took the day yesterday to regroup and organize. I put on my slow song playlist... and I cried. It's too be expected... its me. But I needed this. I needed to purge. I threw away David's things (RIP to the name Stinkface. We are at a point where we aren't even cordial, and that name was created with love. I still love him, but I do not like him). I mourned a relationship that has no hope of resurrection. Cards, pictures, teddy bears. I let them fall into a trash bag as I let the tears that held my pain fall down my face. I ended the relationship, but he ended the friendship, and that's what hurt more. I threw away clothes that I just didn't throw away because I felt there was no need to. I let go. I realize now, holding on to things that have no real purpose in my life is holding me back. I did a complete detox. I feel different. May sound crazy but its true.
Sh*t I even threw away my birth control pills... So you know I mean business.
I am not the same person who stepped on that plane on the 21st. My mind is different... my soul is lighter... my body relieved.
So I'm Back, but I'm not. I have a different outlook on the days, and a different meaning for the nights. Each second is like a first kiss, and I planning on frenching that mother f*cker...
But Not Really...
My vacation was amazing and definitely needed. I got to be free from a week of stress and nonsense, and just enjoy myself. Now that I am back in NY, my whole outlook is different. I stepped off the plane to walk into bullsh*t. I took the day yesterday to regroup and organize. I put on my slow song playlist... and I cried. It's too be expected... its me. But I needed this. I needed to purge. I threw away David's things (RIP to the name Stinkface. We are at a point where we aren't even cordial, and that name was created with love. I still love him, but I do not like him). I mourned a relationship that has no hope of resurrection. Cards, pictures, teddy bears. I let them fall into a trash bag as I let the tears that held my pain fall down my face. I ended the relationship, but he ended the friendship, and that's what hurt more. I threw away clothes that I just didn't throw away because I felt there was no need to. I let go. I realize now, holding on to things that have no real purpose in my life is holding me back. I did a complete detox. I feel different. May sound crazy but its true.
Sh*t I even threw away my birth control pills... So you know I mean business.
I am not the same person who stepped on that plane on the 21st. My mind is different... my soul is lighter... my body relieved.
So I'm Back, but I'm not. I have a different outlook on the days, and a different meaning for the nights. Each second is like a first kiss, and I planning on frenching that mother f*cker...
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Zodiac Logic
Valentines Dinner for me was definitely an eye opener...
Went to dinner with two of my closest friends (sisters is more suitable), and we had a great time. I had a lychee martini (all the way banging) and we talked the whole dinner (well mid bites). As much as I love my boo's the Scorpio and the Leo... sometime its takes a Virgo and a Gemini to break it down for a Capricorn
I been getting increasingly nervous about this single thing. I told y'all I don't know the rules. Not the fact of being single, but the fact that I dead ass have no idea what to expect. I'm a a planner, I do not like surprises, and I am a worry wort. Its a cocktail for a heart attack and/or ulcer, but its me. Scorpio and Leo been trying to tell me to have a seat, but sometimes I need more then a "b*tch please, you'll be fine"
Hence why last night was such a relief. My Virgo understand I am technical and broke it down for me in a technical, logical terms, while Gemini game me the emotional aspect (like I need to be more emotional). My nerves are calmed, my head is clear. I am definitely not trying to have a boyfriend now. No serious relationships for now. I kind of still have to mourn for the passing of my last one. I love Stinkface to the point I would of took a bullet for him. Its hard to grasp that I failed. We failed. Buts its reality and I have to move forward...
Ill drink to that.
Went to dinner with two of my closest friends (sisters is more suitable), and we had a great time. I had a lychee martini (all the way banging) and we talked the whole dinner (well mid bites). As much as I love my boo's the Scorpio and the Leo... sometime its takes a Virgo and a Gemini to break it down for a Capricorn
I been getting increasingly nervous about this single thing. I told y'all I don't know the rules. Not the fact of being single, but the fact that I dead ass have no idea what to expect. I'm a a planner, I do not like surprises, and I am a worry wort. Its a cocktail for a heart attack and/or ulcer, but its me. Scorpio and Leo been trying to tell me to have a seat, but sometimes I need more then a "b*tch please, you'll be fine"
Hence why last night was such a relief. My Virgo understand I am technical and broke it down for me in a technical, logical terms, while Gemini game me the emotional aspect (like I need to be more emotional). My nerves are calmed, my head is clear. I am definitely not trying to have a boyfriend now. No serious relationships for now. I kind of still have to mourn for the passing of my last one. I love Stinkface to the point I would of took a bullet for him. Its hard to grasp that I failed. We failed. Buts its reality and I have to move forward...
Ill drink to that.
Monday, February 14, 2011
What's Love got to do with it???
Have people always been this bitter on Valentines day???
This is a serious question. Maybe I have been so wrapped up in love and sh*t the past 10yrs I didn't notice all the angry sh*t people are saying and doing. This is my first Vday in 10years I am single and I don't feel no type of way. I am celebrating with my homegirl Elon and we getting lobster quesadillas. I have people that I care about and love in my life and I am grateful for that. This day isn't about love for one person, even though it is nice, its about expressing love to everyone you have that emotion too. I always try and get something for my family and friends. I am in love with love tho. I told y'all I am a hopeless romantic. I am getting the word "Love" tatted on me somewhere. But these joints out here angryyyyy. Maybe I am the exception (which I love to think).
Ok- cue twitter. Females and Males is going in alike. Joints out here using Twitter like therapy. Calm down mamita, you will find love one day... but not through twitter cause now all the n*ggas who follow you think you psycho. And guys acting like they wasn't cuffing some broad all of 365 days ago, singing love songs and buying Roche candy... now n*ggas wont pay the 27 cents for the extra sweet and sour sauce for a joint nuggets cause its the 14th. Lowkey, you mad too...
I'm not bitter but maybe because Valentines was never just about the date for me. I always told everyone I cared about happy valentines day and tried to show it. It would of been nice to have some red roses on my desk, yes... but waking up to my brother hand me a hand made card and say in his cracking puberty voice "Here she she, you my valentine... bring me a cupcake home" or my best friend Diandra buying me a Crumbs cupcake made my day. Things like that mean a lot to me... Even a random ass text saying "Happy Val day miss" made me smile.
So all you bitter mother f*ckers out there cut the sh*t. Appreciate the fact that you are loved or cared about and show someone
Happy Valentines Day...
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