Motivation

Kelly Rowland got us all wanting to be a grown man's motivation...

But whats yours?

Weird question right?

Maybe I am the only one, but I have no self- motivation... (We can be honest here no?) Unless I am doing something for someone else or I know my success is what others depends on... I get lazy. Like, I think if given the opportunity, I could chill for a minute on unemployment and watching Maury in my room. Chillen. But I know I cant. I have Marcus who is 12 and about to get sucked into a world of basketball, fast girls in short catholic school uniforms (bitches), and bad decisions.

I hate my job. Not so much the company, but the work I do here. I been looking for another job for a while now. I get lazy, when I get no responses, I get discouraged... But let someone else need a job. They get emails daily from me about openings.

My friends often call me Captain Save a Hoe. I know I know. I always want to help someone. Maybe its the fact that I am hopeful that one day if it is me someone would help me. Or I remember the days when I had no one to help me, struggling and crying, and when someone did help me and ignored my refusal, the immense gratitude I felt to these Angels of Mercy on Earth I called friends. I like they are not alone in this world. Is that doing to much? Yea. Probably

But I would much rather be called Captain Save a Hoe than the unreliable friend. I know people take advantage of my kindness, and when I see it I stop it. Their judgment will come with God, not me, so Ill let Him handle that...

But the other day as I was blasting Motivation in Barney, I realized... I need to be self motivated.. I'm here singing and willing to make my vagina make a man go the distance, but I can't use my own heart to give my self drive? What kind of ratchet scallywag am I...?

I am going to work on pushing myself into a better place without using outside factors to do so. They are the extra drive, but if I don't have them I slow down? Cant do that... '

But for now... *quietly sings* "I don't want to feel my leggssss"