Everytime I hear this song... My mind pushes your face to the front... despite me keeping you in its back alleys for months....
and I wonder if every time the beat drops, does your heart drop too...
cause mine does...
almost as fast as my panties did...
My mind wanders to how your touch used to caress over my skin like her words caress over the piano...
How her voice gives me goosebumps like your kisses did.
I get chills,
and can't figure out if its from the music or from the memories.
I wonder if its affects you.
if you can't concentrate.
if you remember the times we had to this very song
OUR song...
I wonder how you feel and questions come to mind...
like..
Do you vibe to the beat like how i used to ride you to the beat?
Do you hear her voice in one ear and remember mine in your other?
Is the verse just as tight as me?
Her pitch as high as mine?
Cause you always used to bring me to a falsetto...
Does the base make your speakers vibrate as much as you used to make me?
I think about how the song wraps around my ear drums like my legs used to wrap around your waist.
I think about how....shit...
i just think about us.
About the us i been trying to forget for months...
for years...
I think about
as she hits the bridge... you hit my spot...
and I just want to uh, ah uhhhhh. with you...
forever.
But forever will never come....
Because just like this song, just like this passion, we had to come to an end.
And as much as i hit repeat...
Life, and other L words, do not have the same feature.
i think about..
How I want to feel your body weigh on my chest like our separations has weighed on my soul.
How I want to look into your eyes and feel hope right before i closed them and felt ecstasy.
How you pounded my doubts out like the drums in the background...
How I swallowed my pride... amongst other things..
How...as the sun rose, and the song ended... so did we. In more ways than one...
I want to listen to the song and feel the pleasure without the pain...
Remember without remorse
I don't want my eyes as wet as other body parts...
I want the song to play without me having the urge to change it...
but i never do
cause i can't change us...
So I embrace every emotion, good and bad, as i embrace every note
and just reminisce about your embrace....
And accept that this song has been tainted...
ruined
Kind of like my heart.
Accept as much as I wanna uh... uh... uuuuuuhhhhh
It can never be with you
Very vivid piece of writing right here...
ReplyDeleteI can definitely sense the pain this song brings to you but much like most (if not all) of Marsha's music, it's addictive and I, too know the dilemma you have in wanting to change the song but can't.
Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life with us