Turn The Radio Off.

So, something you may not know about me…. I was a Girl Scout. What, you couldn’t tell? I am efficient as hell. I mean, I only got like two badges and my family was the only ones who bought the cookies, but I definitely learned some stuff! ANYWHOOT, not the point… one of the Girl Scout songs we used to sing were “Make new friends, but keep the old. Some are silver but the others are gold.”

Clearly Drake wasn’t a Girl Scout. I love me some Drake but this “No New Friends” song is going to have people messed up and confused. Especially people who aren’t looking at the bigger picture.

Let me break it down:

Drake is a millionaire. We buy his albums, we texts our old joints to Girls Love Beyoncé, we’ve done the Drake shakey hand to at least one song. We KNOW Drake has money. Of course he doesn’t need any new friends, they probably trying to get him to pay off his school loan. But, you think he grew up with Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj? There will never be a #ThrowbackThursday and you see him put up a 3^rd grade class picture with the board of your teachers name that someone holds in the middle, and little Dwayne Carter Jr. And Onika Maraj gonna be in overalls smiling next to a toothless Aubrey. No, he met them after he got put on. They had similar interests, they grinded together, and probably opened up to one another… and guess what?

They. Became. Friends.

I have friends that I have had since kindergarten. Quite a few actually. 22+ years of CLOSE friendship, not I been known her since 87 but we haven’t spoken since 97 type thing. I love them to death (most likely yours if you mess with them). But, as we got older, and developed into the adults we were supposed to become, we went down different paths. Friends that are married, friends that have never heard a Future song, friends that don’t watch Love and Hip Hop, friends that don’t drink.  Friends that hate interacting with people or who never have step foot in a Mac store. We have a lot NOT in common. So, as you immerse yourself in the things you love, you interact with people with similar interest, connect, and then… you stop calling because Drake said to stay loyal to your old friends and you stay home and watch reruns of Martin alone eating ice cream? NO! You cultivate, you bond, and you build.

Then you have the friends from kindergarten who no matter how much you try, you weren’t meant to grow old together. You try to love them but you spirits don’t mesh. And I’m all about a spirit girl. Some people you are just drawn to. Conversations flow, you sync. Something just clicks and every conversation just uplifts you, even if you have a conflict. And some people, it’s a chore to talk to. You never feel better talking to them… your spirit just doesn’t take to them anymore. There is always drama, an issue, or negativity. It’s draining.  But, you’d be trifling if you just cut your friend off, right? If you distance yourself for you mental wellbeing because she fought that girl for you in 15 years ago, that’s not being loyal to your “friend”, right?

Someone said on twitter “No new friends, but what if you outgrow the old?” Man Listen...

I think that people take loyalty in the wrong context. This is mainly because of balance. They do not know how to balance friends efficiently. It comes to a point that people wonder if you’ve had any friends before this new set. They get so excited with the new people they meet; they neglect the ones that have been holding them down for years.  Kind of like a new album. You’ve had The 20/20 Experience on rotate… Whens the last time you listened to Future Sex/Love Sounds? I might as well change this blog to Balance Epiphanys because I think that is literally the core of all happiness. Once you learn to create and maintain a balance in your life, you’ve reached Nirvana. I would hate for someone to stay my friend because they felt they had to stay loyal but I burden them. I’d rather they move on grow and be the best they can. There is a thin line between loyalty and stupidity, and resentment is real.  I’d rather we part on civil terms that I can still support and love you from afar, than a dramatic scenes that causes animosity  that resulted from anger building up from trying to stay loyal.

And let me not be fake, I’m guilty of the imbalance. I’ve neglected old friends for new. At one point I avoided old friends because I didn’t want to be reminded of my old life. I wanted to become a new person and live a new and better life. During this time, I’ve met some amazing people. I’ve met one of my closes t friends in the last year and a half. She’s help me grow into a different person, a better person, who is more sure and confident.  I’ve met people who inspire me and motivate me, by their actions and presence, and I have to admit I’m blessed. But not everyone can be my little care bear.

 This is what I had to learn, not everyone that’s new is better. “Some are silver but the others are gold”. When I realized running from my past, instead of learning from it, was not the answer, I stood still. I had a seat, and let my heart and mind sync back. I saw how fake some of the people i had befriended really were. People who feigned support, not because they were concerned, because they were curios. I met people who have no intention of moving forward. I meet sociopaths. I met reality.  I tell people all the time, even with baby steps, you’re still moving forward. I should add,” If you’re going in circles, even if you’re running, you’re just going nowhere fast.” Not everyone has to be your “friend”. Some people can be contacts. Associates. Use each other to advance, professionally. Some people have roles in your life, and not all are permanent, and not all are supposed to be personal. It’s only fake when you don’t make that clear. When you pretend to be a friend for advancement. When you’re deceitful and dishonest for personal gain. When you’re not genuine. When you encounter those people… please feel free to turn that mother effin Drake all the way up!

 I semi ranted, but let me bring it all together. I don’t believe in the “I’m too old to make friends” or “No new friends”.  I believe the Lord has a plan and a path and because we don’t know who plays what part in our journey. I believe everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is wisdom. I won’t block my blessings because an unfamiliar face might be delivering them.  And I won’t assume you have my best interest at heart because you knew me when I was rocking LA Gears. I won’t turn people away because I don’t want to seem disloyal, but I won’t ignore the people who were there for me through thick and thin. The people I hold dear and consider my adopted family (new or old), weren’t there when the smoke cleared… they grabbed my hand helped pull me out the fire. And I got them… No matter what Drake says.

Scout's honor.