Is You Happy?

*TI Voice*


(good ass song btw)

One of my favorite parts of Sex and the City is when the whole gang is in Carries living room, and they all sitting down and trying to figure out when Samantha got fat, and Charlotte says she's happy. Everyday. Not All day, but definitely every day with her relationship.

This post isn't about love and relationships, but it definitely relates.

ARE. YOU. HAPPY? Not ok. Not content. Happy. Do you enjoy some part or aspect of your life daily?

If you don't, we need to do better.

No ones life is perfect. Everyone has demons… everyone has problems…some stronger than others. Happiness isn’t determined by the life handed to you… but how it is handled.

Yall probably sick of me and my break up story… but if so read another blog… cause that shit changed my damn life.

I was “happy” (yall peep the quotation marks?). On the outside… I had it all…. Ok I may be gassing that all shit but bear with me… On the outside, I had man, a loving family, engaged to be married, popping ass friends, smiling all the time, driving a car I put the money up for… I was “doing better” then most (I’m in a quotation ass mood yall). In reality… I cried myself to sleep every night. My fiancé didn’t make me happy but every time he asked if I was, I would say yes hoping to speak it into existence. My family had issues beyond measure…including my grandfather who raised me as his daughter since my father passed away before he even know I was growing… was dying in front of my eyes. Money issues rose because I was paying bills for me and my fiancé as he “got on his feet” like I wasn't lying knocked on the ground with him. I felt disconnected from my friends because I would never go anywhere, because I wanted to be a good “wife” though I was always left home alone. I felt unfilled… I was sad… everyday… my smile was a mask I wore like it was crazy glued on.

Now, yall follow this blog… a bitch still broke. I’m single, I’m living at home, I work temp jobs, things are far from perfect… but I am happy everyday. Every. Blood. Clot. Day. My smiles are genuine. Not because this is my perfect life or how I envisioned it, but I am living it the best way I know how and not lying to myself. Delusion is real yall. I said it before. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF. You can front for the homies, for the joints, even for Jesus cause he know the truth anyways, but please keep it 100 with yourself. You are on a path to destruction if you don’t. That was my main problem. You can’t fix problems you don’t acknowledge.

It doesn’t happen in a day but please understand your worth. Understand that you are the only you that exists. My brother always tells me ”you are a brand. What do you want to come to mind when people hear your name?” Maybe it’s the useless ass marketing degree I got but it makes so much sense. Your happiness is linked to this. Trust me. When you live the life you want… it comes… unexpectedly. It hit you in the face like a drunken friend on her birthday (sorry guys…lol). My happiness wasn’t there because I wasn’t living the life I wanted to live, I wasn’t being the attributes that I know weren’t me. I wasn’t being Sio… I was just some homely doppelganger.

So now, here I am… broke bum bitch Sio… writing this post stealing some internet from a Starbucks in BK….

And I couldn’t be mother fucking happier.