It Happened So Quick... I Didn't Even Notice...

So. I took a mental health 3 day weekend which is funny cause in the course of the 3 days I had 2 mental breakdowns. Anywhoot, I was watching Dr. Oz yesterday and I saw this poor 19 year old girl. Her and her 6 sisters were all overweight and had health issues. She was the youngest, and she weighed 283 lbs *clutches pearls and slimfast* She said she was 116lbs at age 16... so this heffa gained 167lbs in 3 years sweet 8lb baby Jesus. You can see in her face she was broken, and wanted to basically break down on National TV. She said something that made me stop in my tracks because I say it all the time, just with smaller, less life threatening things for now. "It happened so quick, I didn't even notice" I have heard myself say it with grad school, with growing my hair out, even with my own weight... but you never know how drastic it is until people you finished undergrad with have Masters, or your hair is still relaxed and short, or that dress that used to fit you like a glove now just. cant. fit.


Why we do this to ourselves? Why do we procrastinate on the things that are important, or let things get uncontrollable? Its sad and scary. I know things come up, people get sick, have babies, are broke, stressed... but damn. We so worried about finishing our work days, we don't realize we finishing another day of not moving towards our goals. We get too comfortable, and like the great Weezy F. Baby please say the Baby said "Don't ever get to comfortable" and I realize during one of the mental breakdowns that is exactly what I have been doing since I got out of college. Comfortably Grinding. Well not any more. I always complain about my situation but I am blessed and I need to show my appreciation by taking the opportunities given to me and work my my ass off to make my life the best one possible (can yall see I am bringing back the positivity?)

So I promise you my faithful 3 readers a few things...

-I will take my Gmats before October
-I will have my Masters this time by 2013 (work with me here, I am going part time)
-I will loose this weight by the wedding 7/21/2012 (20 down, 50 to go)
-This time next year, whether its is long enough or not (or I lost enough weight to think i wont look like booboo the fool with it that short) I am cutting off all the relaxed ends of my hair
-All my debt (sans school loans) will be paid off and my savings account will have 3 months worth of paychecks in it, AND I will have an active stock portfolio (check out the article in the July issue of Essence "What Rich Black women Know")
-I will pray more starting NOW, cause none of these things will be possible without God

So why am I sharing this... cause its my damn blog because I want to share my revelation. It easy to be depressed and complain and say "when will I get a break" but the matter of the fact is just cause we doing something, doesn't mean it is enough... and if you reading this, your getting your break right now cause you are alive, breathing, clearly have access to a computer or internet, sh*t that fact that you reading this is a break (According to UNICEF, "Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names and two thirds of them are women."). This is fucking sad (I am not putting an asterisk in this curse because that statements need the curse's full potential). We are doing so good... hell, we are doing GREAT... this is our reality check. Make a list, write it down... shoot put it on here if you want to make yourself accountable (they say if you write something into existence, even on the internet, you helping to make it a reality, just do something to take the first steps to not be the proverbial 283lb girl who doesn't know how she got so fat so quick...

Cause all I thought about when I saw that poor broken girl is me saying 50 yrs from now "It happened so quick, I didn't even notice" and I am talking about my life...

Free Lil Wayne...