Not Everything about being Beautiful is PRETTY...

As I write this, I have on no make-up. My hair is in a sloppy bun. And not that cute sloppy, just sad sloppy. I have on my glasses, with a dress, and rain boots (well, now I have on ballet flats. I am at work. I am not that bad). I have in a pair of $3 "pearl" studs I keep on my ear at all times so I don't look like a teenage Rican boy with my hair pulled back. However, I justify this look in my head since my glasses are Armani, my rainboots are hunter, and my nails are done. I may not look a whole tragedy. But I don't look cute. (Before everyone starts sending me BBMs and messages about your beautiful, stop talking so negative, blah blah blah *side eye at Dunni, E'Lon and Tass*, I know I am cute in the face and thick in the waist. I meant in the material, superficial aspect of cute).

I'm lazy. I admit it. The thought of loosing an extra 20 mins of sleep to slap in hot rollers, or perfectly apply foundation, blush, eyeshadow, lip liner, lip stick, and whatever else I may need just makes me sleepy.It irks me. (for those who don't know. I need 8 hours or I am no good. I am in bed by 11. On weekends too if I cant avoid the grip of you partying heffas). However, that doesn't stop me from purchasing a crap load of make-up... and clothes... and hair products... and shoes... and jewelry. I have a problem...

Its a lot of work to be beautiful. It doesn't come naturally to everyone. And even if it does, the maintenance is no easy task. Its annoying... even to those around you *thinks of Stinkface constantly picking up brushes and going at his hair even in the car like Chicago from Poetic Justice so he can get waves*. We submit ourselves to Brazilians, tight weaves and extensions, waxings, threading, a variety of chemicals and smells for our nails that can't be safe (I always wanna ask the Asians "well damn. Can I get a mask too?). It is a tedious and sometimes scary process. Perms, Haircolors, treatments, lipo, weight loss pills, hot hair dryers. All for temporary goddess status that will only last 2-10 weeks. And some people, it really doesn't help *side eye at this lady at my job who still looks like a gargoyle, even with piles of MAC on*

Now, don't get me wrong, when need be necessary, I clean up pretty damn good if I say so myself. My mental twin Waldo's sister thought I was a completely different person than the girl she saw in the FB pics...

SN- as I type this, my anonymous homegirl I have omitted her name cause she said i played her Gchats me and goes "I think I need a hair steamer. It maximizes your deep conditioner treatment to make your hair softer" *side eye* See what I'm saying blog world?

I have made it a goal of mine to TRY and make an effort. At least put on some mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, and another lip gloss other than Blistex. Maybe wear some heels to work instead of just my Old Navy sneaker flats. Especially when I go out with people like my friends, who are always cute and put together... *coughheffascough*. In my mind, I already locked Stinkface down, so I can bust out the granny panties (which I won't cause I love me some Vickies). But I don't go completely to hell because I love him, and I want to look good for him plus he would slap the little remaining color I have off if I went into full bum mode. But I do feel a slight, minuscule, insignificant, hardly even there type of way when I am out with my friends, and guys are stealing glances at them, or smiling at them (toothless or not), and they don't notice me at all. I am not looking, and if they would approach me, the would definitely get the *BBM talk to the Hand*, and a possible curse out (I am reformed, but Jesus isn't done with me yet). I don't even like attention, it makes me uncomfortable, squeamish even. But it's the principle dammit!

Now with that being said, I hope everyone understands, and doesn't judge when they see me looking "lazy chic" out in the streets. I am just not built for this. I will try though...

Baby Steps People. Baby Steps.