Women and Money

So yesterday I was added on to (cause someone thought I wouldn't wanna participate since I wasn't single side eye at Jha) a heated email discussion about a Clutch magazine article. Here is the link:

http://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/are-educated-brothers-opting-out-of-relationships/

Break down of the article for those who cant pull it up, don't have time to read, don't care enough to read, etc... They talk about how the professional black man is opting out of relationships until they are professionally secure which is around 33-35yrs old.

Now to the discussion. On the email were too corporate young males(I am assuming around my age *cough25cough*). At one point they said, they want to be at the point in their life where the woman's salary can be used for savings, and trips, yadda yadda. So basically, spare change. I don't think they meant it in a offensive way, but I took offense. I understand the whole "me man you women, I must provide" caveman philosophy. But spare change, I don't think so. I bust my ass, took out loans, pulled all nighters, missed my man... all to get this degree... to get a job to bust my ass at. And I am about to go back to school all to do it again, too better myself and my future family. Why is my salary going in the cookie jar. Maybe this sounds crazy. Somewhere a gold-digger might be reading this and saying... "this b*tch is dumb", but its the principle for me. I come from a family of VERY strong women. I also have a lot of very strong female friends. Even with my male friends to sometimes give me advice when I just didn't understand what was going on in that huge head of Stinkface's, it took years for me to kind of just let him take the lead with certain things I still just can't do it too sometimes. But don't devalue my money or education...

My friend who started the email discussion and me were having a side gchat convo and I said " I'm just glad Stinkface doesn't have that dated mentality" (talking about we couldn't be serious til he was completely established) and she said "that's cause he doesn't work in a big corporate firm cause if he did he would have the corporate mentality". "I replied, well we were together while both of us was in college. I don't think if he got a big corporate job he would think like that still" But really, what do I know. If he got a HR job working for AMEX he might of dropped me quicker than a hot skillet... :-( (We don't have to worry about that now. He put a ring on it... he is locked in)

They also said "we (men) have the option of getting with a 25 year old". So basically you let my homegirl's biological clock tick away while she hope you realize she is the one, then go get you someone new? Tragedy...

They also said that I need to face the "reality of the society we live in" and realize men make more money because women get distracted by making babies, raising said babies, and holding the family down to advance in their career. Men don't have to worry about that stuff *side eye*, so he can just continue to work, make more money, and my money is disposable. Now here are some fun facts I threw out at him. This should also motivate my females out there if you have any doubts about your future...

-"the society I live in shows shows that twice as many black women than men earn BA's. So according to the black community, the "reality of my society" is that by age 33 I will be making 12% more annually then you a year. Also, my society shows the majority of African Americans in upper level corporate management positions are single mothers (who multi-task). "- Direct quote from email

-"Currently the majority of black women make more than Black men. Partly cause of their education. Also because they were involved in many other things in school that gave them an advantage over their black male counterpart. Black women also 2 times more likely to receive a promotion before a black man. Also, studies show women are now asking for more money in job offers to cover extra expenses and can be offered an extra $5000 in a offer (when the average black male would only be offered an extra $2000 more than a women if they both didn't request money)."- Another direct quote.

I don't understand why men can't work with women. We are able to juggle a lot, including advancing in our career... Why cant we give you some pointers. Why do men see us as a hindrance to their professional development. Now.. don't get me wrong, there are some crazies out there who want to get preggo immediately, want you to focus all your attention on them, and not care about work. They scared men from the good women who are willing to compromise and work with you if you see them bitties, kick them hoes. They messed it up for yall. But a lot of men see women as an additional responsibility, like a car note, or phone bill. If they not secure financially they can't take it on or its gonna f*ck their credit up. Although I strongly believe money should be a factor in marriage, it shouldn't be the DECIDING factor... Love should

Maybe I am crazy. Or maybe I am a delusional person who hasn't dated much so I don't know the "single girl struggle". But I do know this. I refuse... REFUSE to go to work and not contribute. I think its lazy on my end and selfish on his end. I want to feel accomplished too. Too feel that I don't NEED his money to survive (which the guy on the email said is what he meant by his statement).

I also refuse that if (God Forbid... *knocks on wood, spits on ground, closes eyes and screams mama say mamasah ma mak ooh sah*) me and Stinkface get divorced, he not gonna have his cut throat lawyer say I didn't contribute to the bills... I'm getting at least half... Word to Tiger Woods Wife

Side Note- I do want to add, which I told the young men, they could have a worse mentality. They genuinely seem like good people. They could be on the street slinging rock with 12 baby mothers and their straight gig at home depot to throw "the man" off. They could be women beaters. I just think their views are dated. But having dated views on letting your women not have to worry about money is not the WORST thing to deal with. So they can proceed... and ladies if you have no problems with their views are waiting... I have their emails... LMAO