Monday, September 6, 2010

Lost...

"Everyone has a gift, but not everyone open theirs"- T.Lloyd

Might be the realest sh*t she ever wrote. I always said I feel like I have no specialty, nothing I do great. I have no talent. Its just my view, and people probably feel that way all the time, but I truly believe it. I read this, and I said, well damn. I haven't opened my gift, but that because I didn't know it was there to tell the truth. I still don't.

I have amazing friends who I believe are all so talented, but me... Zip. Nada. Nothing. I know I do things well, but I can' think of one thing that I do amazingly, or any one thing that when someone says "that thing", they say "Oh yea, let me call Sioban" (other than finding coupons, and hair products). I wish I was "special". I wish I could sing, or was a Math wiz, or I was a natural at anything.

I think, one of the reasons I feel like I am in limbo with my career and my professional development, is cause I dont have a goal to aim too. I am the type of person who needs to know what to work for, or I kind of just coast. I working in Marketing now, but the job I am in makes me hate business. Like hate it. When I went to the hairdresser yesterday my hair is swinging by the way, I we were talking about working, and how tired you get after working for so long, even if you like what you do. I met a women who was a personal trainer, and a life coach (so they really do exist Tenee) and she says she needs a vacay, but she absolutely LOVES her job... so how you think I feel with a job I hate... Lord help me.

I am going to apply for a teaching program. Also, look for some other jobs in Marketing. I just feel lost and confused, and like I said before, I am a worrier. That doesn't leave much from for riskiness, so changing my career is kind of like a big f*cking deal. I just hope one of these mini epiphanies I have aren't so damn random, and I figure out what I am going to do for the next 40 years (that gave me a headache), and not dread it. I kind of just want to be happy...

So what do you do when you don't know where your gift is hidden to open it?

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