All. Of. This

This song came on my pandora. Never heard it ever before but it basically represents everything I want in my next "love" (if that ever comes)...



The words, the light carefree tone in her voice, the semi-upbeat...

Yea. All of That

Respect The Curve

<-----This is for my Asian twin... but I forgot there was a LEGIT video for this...


So, I don't like rejection. That shit thats going on in the video "So I walked over to him slowly, said 'I know you don't know me...'"

Yea, I won't be that Jawn.

I mean, I know not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to think I am attractive. I am fine with that. Im not that delusional. However, If i see a joint in the club, I will not... i repeat, I will NOT approach him. So that way you can smile in my face , the turn around and tell your boys "the tall jawn with the big breast was sweating me"? Nah, Im so good.

I have homegirls who are bold. They're like "If you feeling him tell him, and if he say no... that cool...just move on"... These joints must be on crack cocaine.

1- These heffas got a roster thats filled more than a pre-meds students curriculum
2-They all cute and I highly doubt they have ever been turned down

I have ever been turned down either, but thats cause I never really put myself out there. And, i don't give a fifth of a fuck if I'm about to be 27 and being petty... I am not starting now. Guess Im gonna die old and alone... but I wouldn't haven been curved. *shrugs*

Now, don't het me wrong... I know how to flirt I think, so I will drop subtle hints... but if he don't get the hint, then I take my wine Im lying, y'all know Id be drinking henny, and move on.

Scenario- My homegirls and I were in the club with me a few years back. One of them was talking to a man by the bar for 20 mins... legit 20 minutes. She is cute, but she could be a 10 if she dressed up a bit more... but whatever. So I'm standing next to them as they talk and he ask her questions and she is giggling and flipping her hair... and she finally came out and asks "So how about you give me your number so we can continue this convo without Lil wayne blasting"... I thought that shit was smooth as hell... He made an awkward face and goes "Actually, I was just about to ask whats up with your homegirl" and points to one of our other friends...

I WAS MORTIFIED. Like, I wanted to cry for her... and you know what... she looked regular as shit. Said, oh she got a man but ill tell her you interested. Took that rejection like a G...So, here I am, cheeks all red from embarrassment, trying to pull my friend in the other direction every time we saw him in the small ass club, and laughing loud like we having the best time ever in this sweat box every time he came within ear shot. She had the nerve to ask me why I was acting weird... I was like "hoe what? you just all calm after that nigga played you like that...?" and she goes "eh, such is life"

such.is.life...

Please believe I am not about THAT life. Buy me an ass load of cats now, cause if I have to get rejected to find my future king, then I might as well name my body pillow king and marry it.

It might be petty. It might be immature. It might be pussy...but its me... Im almost 27 and its hard to teach an old dog new tricks... So ill leave the approaching to KP and Envy.

No, but Seriously...

Ok, So I'm on the phone with my homeboy. We kinda sorta had a crush on each other back in the day, but both of us was in relationships at that point. Me being me, I got over the "I like you" feeling really quick. Him, not so much. Til this day he tries to slip slick shit in out convos. So last night while we talking... i had to ask "Nigga, like... why do you even like me? whats so special about me?"

"You're she-she" was his reply... -____-

I was actually looking for a real answer. Since we were close and Im over my "crush", I felt like I could ask him and get an honest answer. Guess not. I always want to know what people see in me that makes them like me. Im an ordinary jawn. I know I got a good personality, but... I don't know. Its just weird. I ask guys when they say they feeling me "You sure?"... lol

Like I said in some post before. I have actually had some amazing men express interest in me, and although I have not take them up on their offer, I still don't understand why. It may sound stupid, but Im no where near exceptional in my opinion. I just said I wouldn't date me... so why the fuck would y'all want to?

Y'all niggas cray...

I know I can't be the only one who feels like this. I have friends who I think are absolutely amazing. Pretty, smart, accomplished, and I have all heard them say " I have no clue why he chose me". Its always hard to see how great you are, or what others see in you. If you could do it easily, you'd be conceited. No one want a conceited joint well i don't

See, the only issue with this is this is how people get taken advantage of. At the beginning of the year, I wasn't used to a compliment, so when I got it, I felt shy and flattered, and like 'OMG, this nigga thinks I'm pretty". It got me caught up getting the attention I wasn't used to. We honest on here right? Ok, well then I was a tad hype actually, sprung might be better. Now... well now I still can't take a compliment, but it doesn't get me open like before. Lol. Now i need actions to follow the words. I need you to feel a bit sprung too. I won't be out here acting like a teenage crush at 26 cause you told me you love my smile.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't have self-esteem issues (well, let me rephrase. Everyone is self conscious but I don't have low-self esteem)... I know I am a good person... I cook, clean, have a college degree, have a job, and can do a full split... I know Im a not a complete bum bottom bitch, but I guess i just have a vision of the person i want to be, and when I compare to how I am now, I aint shit. I know they could be with someone cuter, slimmer, smarter, quieter (lol), shorter, whatever... so "him" choosing me is just a shock... especially if the "him" is someone I really think is amazing and I reciprocate the interest... cause i don't fall in "like easily"

At the end of the day, i appreciate the interest... I just think y'all smoking that good shit for having it in the first place

Break-Ups

Today I was cleaning my room up. Actually my sock drawer. I realized I had an ass load of mis-matched socks and socks with no partner. As I'm going through the sock drawer... there it was. Right in front of me. A pair of ordinary ass grey socks, and 2 du-rags. Pieces of 8yrs I had been slowly trying to get rid of. Pieces of a life I no longer lived. Shit, pieces of a life I hardly remembered. Socks I used to wear when he wasn't around that made me feel a bit better. Du-rags I had in case he slept over, but really kept them when he left cause it smelled like him. I actually had to stop myself from smelling them today to see if his scent still lingered like his belongings.

Its so funny how break ups are one of the longest events known to man. Its not like most "breaks". When you break something. Its quick. Almost instantaneous separation. Done. Nothing about "breakups" are quick. You have months, years, decades, of things you need to get rid of that accumulated. Gifts, things left over cause they were supposed to come back, memories, bonds, joint bills.... the list goes on. If you have mutual friends, then that makes it worse. Luckily, David was anti-social, so thats one thing less I had to worry about in this break- up. This process is so tedious, i just feel like break is such an odd work. Maybe "ween-off" or "gradually done" would be a more appropriate term for it

10 months later, Im still finding things in hidden places that reminded me of hidden memories. Every time I think I'm done, completely free. Something makes itself known, as if to say "it ain't over yet bitch". Someone who I haven't seen in a while says "Oh, hows your fiancé?" and I have to relive the last 10 months that seem like its become the story of my life. When's songs come on and you can't do nothing but have them flood you mind and heart, and hope your eyes don't flood with tears... (like the song above. It was my angry song. Used to play it eveytime we was beefing. My homegirls knew if this was playing... just leave me alone)

Aint shit quick about that...

Ambitious Girl Part 2

I love this song. Its actually the reason I fell in love with Wale's music. Liked him before... LOVED him after this. I listen to it every morning for motivation. Figured I'd share it with y'all in case you needed some too.



"You'd rather chase these dreams than to try and chase these men"

Yea. All of that.

Ambitious Girl

Sorry the post have been slowing down... But I'm trying to fulfill these Dreams Money Can Buy

(cultured on the cup btw... Lol)

Me Time

So, This may get a bit too much for some... but at least I told y'all



This post is about masturbating

(y'all can leave now if you want)


This is such a touchy ass subject (pun intended). At 20 something, the fact that some females don't do this boggles my mind. So, y'all having that much consistent sex that y'all don't need to maturate? If you are, I really do wish to be you. But I know people who don't. I am not making this post about anyone in particular but I have to say that I have two homegirls (who like maybe even love sex). And they are not getting sex consistently... yet they have never masturbated. Man listen... Not to get too much into my own personal "me time", but If I didn't, I would of never stayed faithful to my ex. They ask "Whats the point, Id rather be getting the real thing"... You and me both. Trust and believe I will never, ever, EVER say "Sorry, can't come over to smash cause I am gonna handle it here myself" Nope.... Not never. This is a replacement. Like, you really want a steak cause you have a craving for meat (again, pun intended) but for whatever reason, its not available... So you get a hamburger. Its not the same thing... but its gonna hold you over.

I would never ever push the issue on them. We have had convos, and I have heard people be like "y'all crazy" "I can't believe y'all" "y'all need to start"... I don't believe in pushing this particular issue. Masturbating, like sex, is mainly mental. If your not mentally prepared or your heads not in the game, you are basically giving yourself a GYN exam. There is no point. When they are ready, they will try, and they will understand.

I hardly have time for myself (Im on a roll, no?) never mind to find a new man to get to know, chill with, and trust enough to give him the moot magic. Between STD's, frauds, 2 degrees of separation, twitter, making sure your homegirl didn't talk to him, he might be crazy, or my favorite "he may not be worth the increase in body count", who got time to figure all that out and not have any type of "release" before he clears the background check... ill tell you who doesn't... Me.

I also think, that females feel a bit more in tune with themselves and their sexuality when they get it poppin with themselves. You feel more confident, less stressed, and you know that nothing is wrong with you if you aren't... umm... having positive results... with another person. Im all about sex with another person, but as someone who is picky, and not having consistent sex, this is an alternative.

At the end of the day, there is not a million sex shops in soho for no reason. Pleasure parties are not being put on weekly for lack of nothing better to do. This shit is effective. So, I am an advocate for (safe) shared sex, but if its just not happening for you, buy some candles... put on that trey songs playlist... pull up pornhub on the comp (y'all better not be judging!!), and bust out that rabbit, vibrator, whatever battery or manually operated apparatus you need.

I still wish I was having sex with another person tho... lol

(ok, one more song)

Those Who Dont Hear Shall Feel

If its anything a West Indian person love more than tea, its a random saying. They got an analogy/proverb for everything. Usually it involve a goat, fowl, cow (actually, any farm animal), or Jah... but one of my favorites is "Who don't hear shall feel"... If that aint the damn truth...

I am a strong believer of people learning their own lessons in life. You can come on this blog and read all the shit I go through and relate to it because you lived it. You feel it. You connect to it. Those who don't get my blog, don't get me, and its most likely cause they haven't got any experiences that deal with this. Im ok with that. People must live their own life and learn their own lessons. My friends know my rules, I tell you something once, and Im done. Take heed or not, Im still gonna be your friend and you probably will be at better person for it.

The reason this is also my favorite saying is because I am the official "Never hears, so I always feel" person. I am stubborn. I am a capricorn... my sign is a goat, I hope y'all not surprised. I know sometimes I think I know everything. This year taught me I damn sure didn't. I had to learn so much that I am not sure if anything else can fit in this mind. I almost lost a legit good person in my life over stupidity. Luckily, we worked past it, but I had to learn. I learned the hard way, but Lord knows I LEARNED. I won't be doing that dumb shit again. And thats the point.

If your not learning, then your not living. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way, but thats the best way. You'll feel them, embrace them, accept them, and apply them. As much as you want to help someone learn to protect them, sometimes you got to let them experience it themselves. The same way you did.

Ive said it on here before... Id rather look back and say "I can't believe I did that" than say "I wish I did that"... I won't take that opportunity from my friends...

So go and feel.

Inspiration

I took this picture with one of my favorite former adopted residents. He has grown into an amazing man and he has no idea how proud I am of him. It actually brought tears to my eyes seeing him... Seeing him better than I ever could have wished for him inspired me to do better...

I'm sure this was an omen. Lol

Why do Good Girls Like Bad Guys...

(I was actually gonna use DMX's "Why do Good Girls like Bad Guys" but I LOVE this song...and the intro makes me giggle)

Hi, my name is Sio... and I like Bad guys

*hangs head in shame*

I don't know what it is about a rude nigga/asshole/jerk that makes my heart skip a beat, but Im sure they my cheat code (someone that has an upper hand in my book). Y'all know I love ignorance, so I think its thats the reasoning.... So when I meet someone who takes my bullshit, talks his own shit, and can make me shut up... ^_^ *insert emoji smiley with the hearts for eyes*

Im the joint that likes to be shaken when she gets out of line

Im the joint thats thinks play fighting is foreplay

Im the joint who smiles to herself but acts offended when a nigga yells at her but low-key its sweet. ex: "Bitch stop tripping like you don't know Im feeling you"

*puts hand to forehead and swoons*

I wish I didn't, but Im 26. Im set in my ways. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I can't help what I'm attracted to anymore... However, I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't try and save y'all, especially my younger readers...

LEAVE THE RUDE NIGGA ALONE!

Im serious. You got that nice man on deck, but you're bored with him. He doesn't excite you? Girl bye, who wants all that excitement? Your gonna get bad nerves...Trust me. Keep that nice nigga. He is gonna treat you like a queen, care about your well being, and not make smart remarks in text that make you respond "lol" but in real life you not sure if he serious or not...

I know what you saying, "The bad guy keeps me on my toes"... Bitch please... You ever been on your toes? ok... You ever STAYED on your toes? no? Try it now for 5 minutes

Ill wait...

Oh, you back huh? Shit hurt didn't it? Same results with the "bad guy"

At the end of the day, you like what you like, but Im trying to change the "nice guys finish last". Maybe there is a nice rude nigga out there for me... but I may be a lost cause. It not to late to save yourselves though

I just want the best for y'all

I have a slight obsession

Chris actually got bars...Yall know my dream man is a rapper/singer...and he look damn good

Chris Brown FT. T-Pain - Niggas in Paris(freestyle) from Mechanical Dummy on Vimeo.

And I want him to keep the fangs in...

Oh.

The Alchemist

So, Im reading the Alchemist and for those who have not read it, I recommend you do. Long story short its a book finding your personal legend (purpose in life) an listening to your heart. It focuses on listening to your heart, being happy and moving past fears and obstacles, and the comfort zone to fulfill these legends (90% of my friends need to read this book like yesterday)

If you been keeping up with my blog, you know I been on my career kick lately (I probably should of been on it years ago but I digress) And tho book was exactly what I needed. It gave me a new look on life that i lost a while ago. My positivity. I have been looking at my life with negativity and heavy heart because of not reaching my goals or shaving clear view on what I want to do in this life. Now I look back and smile. My journey has been an awakening. The book has opened my eyes to that. This year has been probably the most important in my life. Legitimately the best and worst year of my life. I have been broke and broken, abandoned by friends and embraced by enemies. Had the naivety of a new born and gained the wisdom of a grandmother.

One of the best lessons I took from the book was that nothing happens over night. I get upset that things take long sometimes... and want immediate results. It takes tim, patience, and prayer (which I have been slacking on) and you may hit rock bottom but please NEVER STOP...

My ignorance was bliss in January. This year has brought pain, but pain is pleasure and I am enjoying every breathe I take, every second I live, and embracing every experience.

The book also speaks of omens from God and paying attention to them and following them (good and bad) I believe that this book was an omen in my personal legend journey. God must have saw my discouragement. He saw me slipping and sent this book to remind me that I still have to fulfill my purpose

The line that left me me speechless

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse that suffering itself and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second encounter with God and with eternity"

Shit gave me chills.

Reminder

Its The JumpOff

So, someone was talking about the jump off etiquette. You know Im like wait... etiquette? That don't sound like an oxymoron to anyone else? But I digress. In the midst of it I remembered a portion in the last book about finding a good jump off and the rules...

1. JOs don’t hang out together. If you’re friends first and hung out before, then sure, keep at it. But if your arrangement is solely based on sex, don’t expect a public appearance together. Ever.
2. Do your biz and go. No cuddling, definitely no spending the night, and no breakfast. But I’m told that it is “man duty” to remain a gentleman and make sure the lady gets home safely.
3. Kissing is supposedly optional. I don’t know that I could do someone I couldn’t kiss, but whatever. Some think it’s too intimate (unlike sex?) and should be reserved for people they actually care about. Follow your partner’s lead on this one.
4. No phone calls unless it’s to set up an arrangement.
5. No standing appointments. Reliable access to sex is a perk of being in a committed relationship. If your JO wanted to be committed to someone, he’d be in a relationship.
6. JOs don’t grow into more. So if you want more than sex upfront, don’t think sex is the way to get to that “more” point.
7. Stop catching feelings. Yes, the sex is good, but always remember, this is just sex. If you do catch feelings, avoid the “I’d like to upgrade” conversation, and cut your losses immediately.
7. Although it is arranged sex for nonprofit, etiquette still applies. It’s good form for the host/hostess to offer the warm cloth postcoitus. However, said host/hostess is not required or expected to wipe down the guest.
8. Condoms. Always use them. Don’t even think about going raw.
9. Discretion. It’s crass to brag and put people’s biz in the street. Oh, and your arrangement is pretty much over when/if word gets back to your partner. Real players move in silence.
10. It’s not all about you. Not even now. You’re still showing up to the bedroom—or wherever you like it—with another person. You are expected to make sure they enjoy the session and get off. If they are selfish, feel free to talk their biz far and wide as a warning to others.
11. Foreplay. You don’t have to break out your bag of tricks or do all that you reserve for a significant other, but you are obligated to make sure your partner is ready to play. He must do the same.
12. Acknowledge your JO in public. It doesn’t have to be a long and intimate conversation, but a “hello” and a cheek kiss are good form.

See why I can't do this mixxy sex shit? All these rules make my head hurt. I actually have no opinions towards this cause I've never been a jump off, and have no plans on becoming one.

I don't think I could really have sex with someone who I couldn't text a joke

That weird no kissing rule still is foreign language to me.

I'm a planner and im busy.. I make list for everything and put stuff in my planner. You think you gonna hit me up with "come over now" text everytime and I'll be available... Yuh bright!

Well like I said... I never been a jump off, so this is for y'all....

And I'm going to go back to minding my business.

"Nigga" Mentality

I have been told a a few times that i have a "nigga mentality", that I'm "Cold-blooded", or that I'm "heartless"

Y'all rude.

I don't know why y'all say this. One of my male friends say its my logical, realistic views, mixed with my bluntness. So thats makes my thought process masculine? Females can't act like that? This is bullshit to me. I have always admitted my emotional side. Never denied it. But I am the most logical emotional person I know.

So the convo of the why men say they don't want to get into a relationship until they have settled in a good place in their career came up, and all my homegirls said "thats bullshit" "niggas just want any excuse not to settle down" "blah blah blah"

I actually agree with the men. I got a lot of o_O when I said that.

I told them I am not looking for a boyfriend, and actually I don't want one at all. Im trying to avoid a relationship at all cost right now. I used to say that If something came about I wouldn't fight it, I would let it be, however I realize now I got to shut that shit down. I have to make decisions and sacrifices in my life. Prioritize. And right now my only priority it my career, future, and making my mark in the world. I was in a relationship during a crucial time in my career development, and because me being the person I am, I wanted to make sure we were happy, and took crucial sacrifices for "US". Now the "US" is no more, and now "I" am behind.

I dont blame David for that anyways because he told me to go. I knew he was sacrificing for us and didn't want me gone...so I chose him. I lived, I learned, I don't regret. But like I said... i LEARNED. I know there is a possibility I might hinder myself in a relationship again... and Id love to grow with someone, but before I can do that I have to sow the seed of my career. Right now... I don't even know what Im planting.

I actually have had some great men approach me (I'm hype lol) but because their great, I don't even want to lead them on. I know what I am focused on and I don't even have the time to devote to "talking" or whatever you young kids call it now a days, nevermind a full blown relationship. Thats the difference... I don't "talk" if I have no intention of ever being in a relationship with them. Maybe its something I need to work on. But we all know I am a weirdo...

So, yea... if this means I am a nigga... then I guess I embrace this mentality fully

Fears

My two biggest fears are Mediocrity and Failure.

Which is actually funny because they hinder each other. My fear of failure makes me stay in mediocrity instead of greatness, yet my fear of mediocrity puts me a greater risk for failure. Its a catch 22. I have so much in this world that I want need to accomplish but Im scared that Im gonna land flat on my face and it at the end of the day wasn't worth it at all.

I think now that Im 3 months from my 27th bday, which is 3 years from 30, I get more and more nervous about how my life will turn out. Before, when I was sad about not being as far as I would like to be in life, used to reassure myself that I was going to be ok, and at least I was on the way to creating my family and had an amazing support system.

We know how that went.

So, Im at square one. Working on my goals, trying to find my drive and motivation again. Im giving myself until January to get out of this rut. People always go to extreme. This isn't a win or lose situation. This will take determination and patience. I realize that this is going to take time and won't happen over night. I need a plan, and to stick with it.

At the end of the day I have to pick the lesser of two evils. I have to pick which one I am more afraid of. I already have the answer. Mediocrity. Id rather try and fail then fail because I didn't try.

I never want to look back and say I wish I did that. I want to look back and say I can't believe I did that.

Untitled....

I opened a fortune cookie a while ago with the message inside "Be rich or be wealthy, but never accept mediocrity"

Those words always stuck with me cause being mediocre has always been my biggest fear.

That fortune cookie message is in a frame by my bed...

This is my last week of cooning and mediocrity. If you see me slacking feel free to curse me out.

A quick one

I was in ATL this weekend... aka my second home... so my post have been lacking and I apologize. I was about to sleep and this came on my iTunes... i used to love the song. Figured I'd share cause I don't think it got enough play...



*opens Marvin room door* Just don't get locked in people...

Nothing Last Forever

There really shouldn't be a song that tells my WHOLE love life story...

I been avoiding posting it but its been on repeat all day...

Whore Mentality

Most women are whores low-key...

Wait. let me finish before y'all unsubscribe to the blog.

Most women are whores low-key. Mentally. The convos I have with females... homegirls, associates, close friends, or people I just met at the bar, validate this statement. Most women know right from wrong, or have a moral compass, or whatever internal shit we have to keep us from spreading our moot around town like the ice cream truck on the first day of summer. They won't act on their thoughts... oh but the thoughts are there.



I don't care what y'all say. I have had random convos about the sex games of men we have no intention of ever letting seeing the elastic of our period panties never mind our chocolate brazilians. I don't know how much a man thinks about sex, but most women I know think about sex... Often, Having it, enjoying it, what some people would be like in bed whether or not they have the slightest inclination of letting them smash or not. Its the thoughts. The watching porn when you think they don't, the reading trashy roance novels. or in this new day and age... sex-focused blogs. The quick glances at a mans crotch and maybe the double take when there is a slight bulge. Yea, we think about these things... sorry for telling the secrets.

Its ok ladies (and I use this term lightly in this post). Men think talk and act on sex regularly . Its healthy for us to think about it I hope also.

Acting on it tho... Not so much.

I know many of us talk our shit...The mentality is there but the capacity isn't. It would come down to game time and we would talk our shit then it came to to bring our whore thoughts to life, and we would turn into virgins again. Scared confused and acting like we never seen one of those *points to a mans crotch* before. Maybe for the best... There would be an influx of whore houses and a decline in marriage... so its better we keep our thoughts to ourselves, and to the homegirls after sangrias...

So don't feel bad if you see that man walk by with that waddle and wonder how big...

well... just don't feel bad..you're not alone.. *hugs* welcome sister...

Life Lessons

I maybe be slightly obsessed with this book... but this list was in it and it is needed to be shared. Bookmark it and send it to your homegirls....

1. If he doesn’t call, he’s not interested. Period.
2. It’s impossible to fill an emotional void with a physical act.
3. If he says he’s not ready for a relationship, he’s not ready for a relationship.
4. Kings don’t always wear crowns.
5. Wanting to have sex with you and wanting to be with you can be mutually exclusive ideas.
6. Wanting you to want him and actually wanting you can be mutually exclusive ideas.
7. If he has a girlfriend, leave him alone. If he leaves her for you, he’ll do the same to you. If he stays with her and deals with you, he’s a whore. Either option is bad for you.
8. A beautiful face (or body) does not make a beautiful mind.
9. Men don’t read minds. If you want something, ask for it.
10. Men are insecure, too.
11. Just because he’s a good man, that does not make him the right man for you.
12. It’s okay to be alone. You’ll be fine without him. Pinky swear it.
13. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and it’s nobody’s fault. - @T_lloyd has said this to me at least 4 times
14. You don’t always get closure. Make peace with it anyway. - This too
15. You have to grow, but you don’t have to change.
16. Dysfunctional people love dysfunctionally.
17. Love with your heart; think with your head. - I've said this
18. Just because you miss him, that does not mean you are meant to be with him. - But This...
19. Good guys exist, but perfection does not.
20. Learn to compromise, but don’t compromise yourself.
21. Love is a verb. Having an emotion means absolutely nothing if it is not followed through with action.
22. Know that if he is the One, he will be the One.
23. When you feel as if you’re forcing a relationship, you are. It’s not working. Stop and look for the Next One.
24. Complaining about men will not somehow make men better. It will only make you bitter.
25. If you’re single and can’t find your type, go looking for him. There is nothing wrong with being proactive about what you want.
26. You don’t have to be an angry woman to be a strong woman. Angry does not equal strong. It equals angry
27. Good men make bad mistakes. That said, there’s a difference between a moral failing and a mistake. Forgive mistakes. Get rid of moral failures.
28. Every man isn’t out to get you or do you dirty.
29. If you’re always complaining that men “ain’t shit,” ask yourself what’s wrong with you that you keep attracting “ain’t shit” men.

BUT THE ONE THAT SPOKE TO MY SOUL-

30. A bad break up is a valid excuse to break down, but not to stay down.

Lucas, Demetria- A Belle in Brooklyn

Would You Date You?

Dead Ass tho...

I was reading this blog my homegirl sent me http://jeandegrate.blogspot.com/ (its actually really ratchet, and y'all know I love some ignorance). As I was going throughout the post, I came across... "Would you date yourself?"...

Wait...

I looked up at my homegirl, with the epiphany look I always get in my eyes when something hits me like a ton of bricks and say "Oh"... The heffa is completely unfazed. She goes, "you never thought about that before?"... I wanted to reply "Obviously not hoe, you around me every day. I know you know this face is my revelation face". I just said "No" cause I aint want to cause a scene in Banes and Noble... they don't know us there like Panera. Lol

So fast forward to today. I told y'all in the previous post I was reading a book and came to the chapter "Would you date you?" and closed my kindle. I had to mentally prepare myself for the chapter. Plus, I was still on what is considered a date... but I finally asked..."Would I date me?"

Hell No. *sigh*

I am an unemployed 26yr old, who live with their Grandmother. I am stubborn, a bit jaded from the last relationship, whose main goal is to find where they fit in this world. I am about getting my money so I can finally achieve the goals I wanted to achieve by 25. I hang out with my friends (a lot). I make my family my number one priority. I really don't know where my life is going to even start in the direction of my future.

I sound like an 18 year old. smh. Its said but its true. If this were a guy, I'd probably look at him like "This bum nigga can't be serious". On paper, Im a horrible catch, dead ass. I am ok with admitting that. First step towards fixing it I guess. Lol.

However, me as a person.... just solely of personality...I'd date. I might even marry. I honestly think Im a good person... personality wise. Some people are amazing on paper, but when it comes to relationship, they they bottom of the barrel. Those stuff I mentioned before are light, honestly. They can be fixed easily with a new job and some more insight. Persnality and characteristics take a lot more to work on...

Someone said to me before that they are looking for a person they can grow with... I feel like thats my truth as well. I completely understand and agree. Growing with someone, I think, is what makes some of the strongest and lasting relationships I've seen amongst our age group. You get to see the good bad and ugly and decide if you can handle it. I honestly don't believe a year or two of dating can determine knowing someone and is "growing" with them. I was with my ex for 8yrs and that nigga is a stranger to me. Growing with the person doesn't mean it will develop into a future either. I grew with my ex, its just that we grew apart.

There was a part in the book that said she sent an email chain with that question, everyone said they may or may not but they all had stuff to work on, All except one man. His reply was "Id date me. Id marry me. Period" When she inquired why his response was:

“I would date and marry me because my heart is open to loving and caring for someone else. I want to share my life. I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect my partner to be, either. In fact, I think the imperfections are what make for a great relationship. I also know how to be a friend, which is another dimension that is much needed. I’m pretty confident I know what it takes to keep a good relationship together, and it has nothing to do with how often I go out, where I am financially, my diet, where I live, etc. To put it plainly, all that is required is a willingness to do the work . . .”

That shit to me is super deep. So now the question isn't "Am I dateable?". Its "Am I willing?"

And that I have not even the slightest answer for...

Quickly...

I want to thank my ATL for @Borrah20 for suggesting I add more music to my blog. I actually love music... I just started watch TV recently. However, music, reading, and I have been in a love triangle since '89... It makes my blog feel more connected to me. So you can listen while y'all read or not. I like giving y'all options...

You a Dating Ass Heffa...

"You a dating ass heffa" Someone said this to me this weekend. I had to hit them with the o_O. Me? I dead looked around the car to see who she was talking too cause it couldn't of been me. Not Sio... I know girls who go on dates weekly. Different men, sleeping with none of them. That ain't me. I think I been on 4 dates since January. Total. My friends said I been on more. So that led to the discussion of what is a date..

We ask some guys at my friends HS Homecoming "What do you consider a date?", and I also asked twitter. Both mediums of answers had the same response. Intent.

Now as a Capricorn I am very literal. So I went to the dictionary.

Date- a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character

Intent- the state of mind with which an act is done

So, I get from this a date is a social engagement between with a romantic intent. So, even if Im not interested too much, I still consider it a date cause I am not slow... I know what we here for. You didn't see me and ask for my number cause you can see I am a nice person...but you could see I had nice boobs. *shrug*

SN-I also don't consider it a date if we already having sex and grabbing food. Thats going to get dinner. We need to get out energy up. Thats my personal opinion though.

So I then asked twitter, "What if one person has romantic intent and the others intent is strictly platonic, and the two parties don't realize each others intent?". Someone answered a Bad Date. Lol

Now, I was actually going to let this issue die, but I am still reading the book "A Belle in Brooklyn" (which has slowly made me hate BK a little bit less. Think this was @TiffThomp plan the whole time) and I came across a chapter with This question at the top:

"Do black women know how to date?"

Oh, ok. She went on to say after a women declined a date with a cop cause it wouldn't work cause of his profession.

"Blank stare. It’s a date. Does it have to “work” beyond dinner? That got me wondering what the point of a date is for most women. Is it to end with a white picket fence, two and half kids, and a dog? Or is it to have a good time, a meal, maybe a stroll and some nice conversation? I argue it’s the latter. A relationship is the former, depending on whether you want to marry or not.

"I get it. You want someone with the same drive and ambition, who has the same outlook and lifestyle as yours. But you don’t have to marry a guy because you break bread with him or sit next to him at the show. I’m not saying have sex with him or go on a second date, even. I’m saying go out with him. Once. It’s two to three hours of your time, where you are having a new experience doing something new with someone new. "

Then I get to the next chapter titled "Would you date your?". At that point I closed the kindle cause I was talking about this yesterday and started writing a blog post about it already. I came straight to the blog..I feel like the sweet 8lb baby Jesus is trying to tell me something and I need to take each message in.

In all honesty, I may not know what a date is. To me, if I am going out with my friend to grab food and a movie, its not a date, we chilling. Especially if we are completely platonic. If I know you feeling me and I share the same feelings or not, then it depends on the setting. Meeting up for drinks is NOT a date to me. We just talking face to face with drinks around to make it less awkward. Even if you pay for the drinks. I have male friends who pay for my drinks all the time and don't even want to see me in a towel, never mind see my moot. I think a date consists of dinner, and (maybe) some other activity... movies, hookah, chillen in the park, etc. And there is a CLEAR outline of what we here for. Dont say we friends or we just platonic but low-key you trying to make nice to see my panties in a heap by your bed. I can't respect that. Be honest. Cause then your feelings are going to be hurt and I am going to be mad and/or feel bad cause I am going to think my slow ass gave you mixed signals.

I never really dated before, and I am still really leery about it. Even tho I may not even as much as kiss the nigga on the cheek I feel like Im being fast. Like dating too much makes me a hoe. Lol. I am not used to people just spending money on me. Fells so weird. Like I owe them sex which they not getting -__-. I don't think I am the only one. Like the book mentioned, maybe its a stigma with black women. I know white girls who have 3 dates in ONE night. These multi-tasking snow bunnies don't get called hoes. Shit, black men stay talking about marrying them! I always say black women sometimes try to hard not to be judged we don't know how to let loose, or we let loose too much and don't give a fuck about appearances. We need to find a balance, which I believe the female other colors might have perfected.

But still, Maybe I am just crazy. I saw a quote in an Essence magazine where they had black women talking about dating and it always sticks with me cause it was just so real...

"Date promiscuously. Love monogamously"

Labels

So, Im still on that dinner from Thursday...

Our friend had her friend over and he asks what we do...

My Homeboy- Im an entertainer

My Homegirl- Im a writer

Me- Ummmm... Im unemployed....

My homeboy- She an executive assistant at Panera Bread...

Lmao...

Now as funny as that was, Ive said this before. I don't feel like I am good at anything. I don't have a purpose. They said I was a hair consultant... and yea, that has been one of my dreams, but I don't even have the capital to try and start that. What else am I...?

Not a damn thing.

I am not saying I am a useless sack of shit, but I wish I had a definite title. I wish people looked at something and said, "Sio is a professional at that". I am working on finding out what I like, and I know I am not the only one. However, I just wish I was a little more established since I am 3 months from 27, which is 3 years from 30...

This quarter life crisis is real. I am working on trying to make things better and settle in a career, but its like a man... if you have no clue what you looking for, you'll never find the right one...

Lets Chill

"She say that she celibate, I penetrate her mentally"

Oh. Ok...

Where do we go from here?

Used to listen to this on repeat when me and my ex had our little arguments and I didn't think we was gonna make it...


Funny thing is when we broke up for good in January, I didn't listen to this song once. It popped up on my iPod today and I feel nothing towards it. Y'all may though.

Enjoy...or not