Its The JumpOff

So, someone was talking about the jump off etiquette. You know Im like wait... etiquette? That don't sound like an oxymoron to anyone else? But I digress. In the midst of it I remembered a portion in the last book about finding a good jump off and the rules...

1. JOs don’t hang out together. If you’re friends first and hung out before, then sure, keep at it. But if your arrangement is solely based on sex, don’t expect a public appearance together. Ever.
2. Do your biz and go. No cuddling, definitely no spending the night, and no breakfast. But I’m told that it is “man duty” to remain a gentleman and make sure the lady gets home safely.
3. Kissing is supposedly optional. I don’t know that I could do someone I couldn’t kiss, but whatever. Some think it’s too intimate (unlike sex?) and should be reserved for people they actually care about. Follow your partner’s lead on this one.
4. No phone calls unless it’s to set up an arrangement.
5. No standing appointments. Reliable access to sex is a perk of being in a committed relationship. If your JO wanted to be committed to someone, he’d be in a relationship.
6. JOs don’t grow into more. So if you want more than sex upfront, don’t think sex is the way to get to that “more” point.
7. Stop catching feelings. Yes, the sex is good, but always remember, this is just sex. If you do catch feelings, avoid the “I’d like to upgrade” conversation, and cut your losses immediately.
7. Although it is arranged sex for nonprofit, etiquette still applies. It’s good form for the host/hostess to offer the warm cloth postcoitus. However, said host/hostess is not required or expected to wipe down the guest.
8. Condoms. Always use them. Don’t even think about going raw.
9. Discretion. It’s crass to brag and put people’s biz in the street. Oh, and your arrangement is pretty much over when/if word gets back to your partner. Real players move in silence.
10. It’s not all about you. Not even now. You’re still showing up to the bedroom—or wherever you like it—with another person. You are expected to make sure they enjoy the session and get off. If they are selfish, feel free to talk their biz far and wide as a warning to others.
11. Foreplay. You don’t have to break out your bag of tricks or do all that you reserve for a significant other, but you are obligated to make sure your partner is ready to play. He must do the same.
12. Acknowledge your JO in public. It doesn’t have to be a long and intimate conversation, but a “hello” and a cheek kiss are good form.

See why I can't do this mixxy sex shit? All these rules make my head hurt. I actually have no opinions towards this cause I've never been a jump off, and have no plans on becoming one.

I don't think I could really have sex with someone who I couldn't text a joke

That weird no kissing rule still is foreign language to me.

I'm a planner and im busy.. I make list for everything and put stuff in my planner. You think you gonna hit me up with "come over now" text everytime and I'll be available... Yuh bright!

Well like I said... I never been a jump off, so this is for y'all....

And I'm going to go back to minding my business.