"Nigga" Mentality

I have been told a a few times that i have a "nigga mentality", that I'm "Cold-blooded", or that I'm "heartless"

Y'all rude.

I don't know why y'all say this. One of my male friends say its my logical, realistic views, mixed with my bluntness. So thats makes my thought process masculine? Females can't act like that? This is bullshit to me. I have always admitted my emotional side. Never denied it. But I am the most logical emotional person I know.

So the convo of the why men say they don't want to get into a relationship until they have settled in a good place in their career came up, and all my homegirls said "thats bullshit" "niggas just want any excuse not to settle down" "blah blah blah"

I actually agree with the men. I got a lot of o_O when I said that.

I told them I am not looking for a boyfriend, and actually I don't want one at all. Im trying to avoid a relationship at all cost right now. I used to say that If something came about I wouldn't fight it, I would let it be, however I realize now I got to shut that shit down. I have to make decisions and sacrifices in my life. Prioritize. And right now my only priority it my career, future, and making my mark in the world. I was in a relationship during a crucial time in my career development, and because me being the person I am, I wanted to make sure we were happy, and took crucial sacrifices for "US". Now the "US" is no more, and now "I" am behind.

I dont blame David for that anyways because he told me to go. I knew he was sacrificing for us and didn't want me gone...so I chose him. I lived, I learned, I don't regret. But like I said... i LEARNED. I know there is a possibility I might hinder myself in a relationship again... and Id love to grow with someone, but before I can do that I have to sow the seed of my career. Right now... I don't even know what Im planting.

I actually have had some great men approach me (I'm hype lol) but because their great, I don't even want to lead them on. I know what I am focused on and I don't even have the time to devote to "talking" or whatever you young kids call it now a days, nevermind a full blown relationship. Thats the difference... I don't "talk" if I have no intention of ever being in a relationship with them. Maybe its something I need to work on. But we all know I am a weirdo...

So, yea... if this means I am a nigga... then I guess I embrace this mentality fully