Think Like a Man (Hoe)

One of the most annoying phrases to me in the past two years for me was “Hoes be winning”. I just thought it was soooooo dumb. What did this hoe win? Soiled car faxes, STD’s, trifling niggas scratching at her door, the possibility of never getting married? I aint got time for that.  Was going to stay the good girl I was and I knew that I would prosper cause my mans JesuCristo and his cousin Karma would hold me down.

Now, it’s the story section of this post:

Due to the devastating effects of hurricane Sandy, I was stuck in BK on a Friday night. I would of just stayed the whole weekend but I had to go somewhere Saturday and the trains just started running. However, the train I needed to take was nowhere around, so I decided to call one of my old jawns for a ride (though neither me nor my homegirls believed he was coming). When the text went unanswered, I just walked to the train. It was whateva…

As I was walking, there was this Brooklyn ratchet mess in front of me. It was like a zoo exhibit. She had this switch in her hips that assumed she thought looked sexy, but she looked like she had a spinal cord problem. He weave looked like it was 26 inches of the finest Porcupine Remy Body Wave. It was fairly chilly outside and she was wearing a mini skirt with Uggs and a bubble vest. And her bubble gum pink lipstick and barely holding on false lashes didn’t help either… I was befuddled.

I was all ready to talk my shit on the phone with my homegirl like “GIRRRRRRL, PLEASE let me tell you about this hot ass ghetto mess in fro…” when I stopped midword because some nigga pulls up along side her in a 2012 Audi... He looks good. Beard. Complexion Henny straight… and did I mention the Audi? He beeps, and she turns to him and replies “Took you long enough to get here, its cold and you know I don’t walk in the fucking cold”. They then ride off on heated seats while I stood in the cold watching my own breathe billow out my mouth and looked like I just seen an alien.

It was then I realized I had not sucked enough dick in my life.

The End

Here I was, waiting on Karma in the cold (who don’t drive btw) for what I deserve while Kiki and Tron (I named them in my head) ride off on heated seats and probably to get some food, have a bit a sex, and then he either drove her home or gave her cab money.  Have I been doing it wrong the whole time? I don’t know but I saw the reality of hoes be winning right in front of my eyes.

I thought about it the whole train ride from Brooklyn to the Bronx. Something wasn’t right. Slinging my moot around like flyer for a party in a campus dorm could not be the answer. It just could not be!

As I really thought about it I realized it wasn’t the actions of a hoe but a mentality that didn’t get them left in the cold. The mentality that if they want something they get it. They don’t ask, they demand. They take pride in everything they do even if that means every night a different man inside of you *The Weekend Voice*.  They have confidence, determination, and gumption. They are easy to be around because they don’t give a fuck or try hard so guys don’t mind picking them up or spending a little cash to keep them around if it one less thing to nag about. My male friends tell me that’s they love they hoes just cause its stress free.

Please don not read this post and think “Let me go have sex with this nigga right now cause Sio said so… I wont be cold no mo’! “ That’s not what I said at all. I’m still shocked after 2 years that people read my blog never mind the fact that you listen to some of my “advice” (lack of a better word). I just want you to reevaluate you mentality. I am not going out there and going to starting humping anything moving just so i can make sure i don't have to walk a couple of blocks in the cold. This moot worth more than a heated seat (even though at the time of the story I was wondering if it really was lol). We cant say hoes be winning if we always put ourselves in place to take the loss. To get something you never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. That might be adapting a hoe mentality.

And if deep down you are still worried about the myth “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”, I understand, but don’t be. I know quite a few. lol