ThrowBack

I promise ill be better tomorrow. But tonight...

Hi, I'm Misery. Welcome....

“You just a nigga with good lipstick and laid hair”

That’s a direct quote from all of my homeboys. Still not sure if it’s a compliment or not. But now… I’ve accepted it. Like I said I am emo… but for the good. The stuff that impacts me negatively, I don’t say often. Why burden people? That’s what this blog is here for.

But do things get overwhelming like this for men too? I can’t imagine they cry at the thought that the person they love won’t ever play in their hair anymore.

That to sleep, they need Xanax in the medicine cabinet to replace their love that’s no longer in their bed.

That people literally say they can see the weight of the world on their shoulders when all I want is his weight on me. Period.

That they feel delusional calling what we do making love cause their not sure if the love is mutual.

They don’t wake up to tear soaked body pillows.

They don’t miss train stops trying to hold back tears because “our” song came on but they couldn’t bring themselves to go to the next song.

That Jack Daniels is their permanent rebound love.

They never dreamed of someone’s touch and woke up to a pain in their heart so deep it felt like a heart attack.

The energy it takes to put on a convincing fake smile feels like it could power an apartment. The time spent hitting “load more message” and re-reading old conversations because new ones aren’t happening, probably could rebuild the Great Wall of China. Men don’t seem like they deal with that…

But then again… Look at Drake.

Note - Sorry if this post put you in your feelings. Misery loves company. 

Don't call it a Comeback... Though it kind of is....

When I started Random Epiphanys in 2010, it was my escape. It was a way to get my feelings out. It then turned solely about relationships and when I was sad and needed to vent. I felt like a pussy. I realized earlier this year I didn’t want to do that. I was in such a good space and I wanted to share that with everyone. That’s when I also realized I had nothing to write.

Not that all my life is a Drake album, its just that I spoke about the good things. I’m not a quiet person. This blog isn’t what I hide behind to be my true self. I’m vocal and outspoken.

About the good.

About the positive.

I’m emotional, but good emotions. The bad ones… not so much. The thing I loved about my blog was it was my homegirl when my real life homegirls were busy. Or when I needed to makes sense of my own feelings and I could see it face to face.

So now I find myself upset…. And I find myself here. And I realize I ran back here like this was an old familiar joint.

Yea, this was random. Call it an epiphany.