Disclaimer

I watched love first hand in front of me on July26th. On a beach with the sun as a back drop, that I like to think was God spot lighting what true happiness was. I saw my best friend, my sister, my rider, my heart, my inspiration… I saw her marry a man who saw exactly what her friends saw in her, and treated her the way she deserved to be treated. He saw her worth.


My post from a few weeks ago entitled Soap Box, was only solidified by this union. I re-evaluated my life. I listened to the disclaimers the men who I have in my life attached to the “I care about you…”… Like… “I care about you… but we just met at the wrong time” or “I care about you… but you just got way too much going on for me” or “I care about you… but I just don’t want to get married so why even get into a relationship”.

I then proceeded to hit them with…

I understand. Timing. Availability. Commitment issues… blah blah blah! Dream had one of my favorite lines in one of his songs…. And if I was a full fledged bird instead of a half of one, id get it tatted across my stomach…

Stop Fucking with me if you Not Fucking With Me…

Take your issues and bounce. Before I understood these issues and took them in stride because I genuinely cared about these people and didn’t want to lose them in my life. One of the best lessons I learned this year was that just because you understand, does not mean you have to accept.

An open mind does not have to equal an open heart.

Everyone’s circumstance is different. Including mine. I don’t have to accommodate it for everyone who comes around that I like. Just like they don’t (or wont) accommodate for me.

I think the main issue is I don’t like many, so when I feel that connection to someone, looking past their physical, I don’t want to lose it. I try to compromise…. But then I have to remember…

Compromise- an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

There goes that word again yall… RECIPROCITY. If they not even making the effort to try and meet me part of the way… I need to bust that u-turn.


The next main issue is, I create Frankenstein with the men in my life. I highlight the best parts of each one in my head and ignore the bad parts, and get what I want/need from each one… creating this perfect “man blend” in my head. How many times have yall said ...”If I could just combine ______ and ______, they’d be perfect!”? How many times? If I had a dollar forever time I said that, id be blogging from my own private island off the coast of Abu Dhabi. It worked for a time period… until I realized, this would work because the only parts of themselves they was trying to give was all the same… My perfect Frankenstein was being forced to become Penistein… and I can NOT walk down the street with that… imaginary or not.

So see the moral of the story is a woman needs love (if yall to young to know where that reference came from, I don’t even know how you relate to these posts lol), that just because we want to settle down doesn’t mean we have to settle. Love isn’t something that we can force or mold to fit us. Frankenstein doesn’t exist, and if he does I’m still not trying to date/marry him. I want the best for yall… Ditch the disclaimers...

Cause in the end...

Its all worth it.