Saturday, November 19, 2011

Old Habits Die Hard

Ok, so I know I should be used to being single by now, but somethings are so hard to let go of. I am enjoying the time with my self , my friends, and my family, but I really do miss doing couple type things....

And here lies the problem. I miss it so much, I run the risk of falling into a fake relationship with one of my friends. It happened already this year. Let me explain..

You texting your male friend all day, he send you good morning text, y'all go on fake dates, he fixes things for you, your family loves him. Its a comfort. Its feels so familiar. Its everything you miss about being in a relationship sans sex.

I really thought this was just me at first too. But then I spoke to a few homegirls who say they actually keep a few of those on deck. When they get lonely, they call him up. When they need something done, they call them up. When they want to cuddle, they call him up.When thy wanna have sex, they call someone else. Lol

Whats the problem your saying? Isn't it some harmless interaction between friends?

Nope, cause someone gonna get caught up. No one invests that much time, and gets intimate without intimacy without catching feelings. Its so much deeper than sex (no pun intended), Its your feelings. Its your heart...

But damn I miss that. I wish I didn't have to let it go. But i felt like I was taking advantage. Knowing he'd do anything for me made the lines of asking for something blurry. Is he doing this for me as a friend, or is he doing this for me as more.

Maybe I still got the rules blurry. Maybe Im too soft and I just don't like to see people led on, and I definitely don't want to be the one doing to someone. Especially if they are my friends.

But Lord knows I miss those movie nights.

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