Love, con't

Going off the previous post...

<---- I saw this image when I was visiting colleges during HS and immediately was drawn to Philadelphia

However, like Love... It wasnt always sweet. Actually, I almost killed me a few times. LOL

Omnia Vincit Amor

I used to hate Latin. Thought it was dumb. No one even speaks it...

Now I love it. The words are beautiful and the stem of some much of our languages throughout the world. One of my favorite phrases..." Omnia Vincit Amor"

Love Conquers All...

Yall know I'm a sucker for love. That saying has been my motto through life. No matter what changes, I know love will conquer it. Powerful hope from someone who also believe the phrase "No expectations, no disappointment" right? I believe this because I have experienced it through out my life, and how am I to ignore a constant? I love it so much I am getting a tattoo of it... Yea, I know. Another on...

No when I say love, I don't mean just romantic. I mean LOVE. One of my favorite words actually. Love is one of those words that is used to much, and not at the same time. It doesn't have to be written to be read. People misconstrue it all the time, but i can mean so many different things to different people. And be right every time.

Love of God, Love of family, Love of friends, Love of self, Love of Life, Love of your significant other... LOVE, can conquer ANYTHING

In the past week, Ive seen it happen 3 times.

Ms. She's current mood

<-----Pretty Much

When I Die...

I have no husband or kids, so I need to put this here so y'all know..

When I die I want y'all to have a party. Aged Henny, Patron, Coronas flowing. Tell stories about me (good/funny ones only you hoes). All my favorite foods. I don't care if y'all wear black, its my favorite color. Play lots of reggae and coon music. I don't want a wake, cause I want y'all to remember my face (and faces) as I was. Alive. I let y'all have a church ceremony cause I want to go to God, but I don't want anyone to see the burial. Put a random in charge of making sure I get in the ground. I want a headstone to say "Here lies Sioban, 1/6/1985...I love you, and yea... I hear you"

My main thing, just miss me a little when I'm gone.

Worried About The Wrong Things

So, one of my best friends Grandmother died this weekend. It hurt me like I lost a family member. I grew up with this woman... I called her Grandma. She watched me when I was younger and always had, and will have a special place in my heart. I went to the house, to spend time with my extended family on Sunday, in the midst of everything personal going on...

Still hung over from the night before, and head still pounding from the stress of the morning (well, shit the past 6 months), I walked into love. I was handed an patron shot, and welcomed with kisses. Funeral arrangements quickly turned into storied about Grandma, and my tears were bittersweet. I was happy to be here, but sad that it was under these circumstances. Happy to see the love, but sad it was brought out by pain...

I left their house, which is like 15 houses from mine, and as I walked down the block, I watched my feet move. Its a 2 minute walk that felt like 20...I was in a trance, staring at my Essie Mint Candy Apple toes, wondering why my soul felt so heavy. Then it hit me like that Greyhound back in 2007...

I had been worrying about the wrong things...

I had been caught up in dumb ass issues, trying to forget the major ones that hovered over me like a thunder cloud just waiting to strike. I have been worried about outfits, men, sex, twitter, my hair, just anything other than getting my life together. I have been letting things stress me that I can not change. I have been putting my energy in nonsense, and wasting my precious time in it when I can die tomorrow, and what will be said about me? She had a funny twitter? He last days were spent worrying about an argument and looking for shoes? It makes my heart hurt. My soul ache. My body weary. My smile erased. I'm weak. Legitimately.

My mind has been racing, so I need to stop and slow it down. I need to work on the goals I have set, but put aside because I needed to have fun. I need to find the balance. I need to realize that I am not everyone's priority, though they may be mine, and not be hurt by that. Accept it and either move on, or move forward with the new found knowledge. I'm sensitive, yes I know. I'm a worry wort, yes I know. Those things I probably can not change. I don't think I want to. It what makes me... Me. I just need to learn how to handle these things, and learn how to handle when people cant. I need to not be overwhelmed and focus my energy on the things that benefit my life, and not negativity or trivial shit. I need to learn to be selfish and selfless simultaneously... I just need to find contentment in the pursuit of my happiness...

I know that was a random rant... I would apologize but you knew what you signed up for... check the blog name.

RIP Grandma Chelsea.

The Profile Picture Cheat Code

So its 6:30am. I hear the Skype tone go off on my phone. I look over and see my cousin ringing me. Now we are always the last to know things so I KNEW it wasn't an emergency. Mind you, its 6:30am and I'm at work...

Me- What Bitch

Her- You sound cranky

Me- You Not serious right now

Her- Ok well I'm on Facebook and I see my Gan new profile pic...

So, the issue is this. She used to talk to this guy. They fell off but they were still cool. Talked ever so often, and she actually was annoyed with some of the things that he did. She was (or convinced herself that she was) over him and the situation

Until he got a new profile pic on FB...

Now he there, looking all chocolatey... skin glistening, smile poppin, arms looking swole... and now her draws are wet...smh

I know she is not the only one who has fell for the the trap. Shit, I almost fell for the trap today right after. I hardly log on to FB on the comp, so while I was there I looked around and stumbled upon a guy I used to like page...

And there he was, looking sexier than I remember... and there I was at 6:45ish am feeling lusty... I immediately shut the FB page and started watching some Ices Brown videos to divert my mind from the inevitable. Crazy part, my situation isn't too far from my cousins. I don't like him like that anymore... just cool. Speak/text every once in a while, and I'm sure if I saw him in person I wouldn't feel any type of way... I'd hug him, chat it up for a bit, then keep it moving...

So what is about the profile pic that catches you up...? My theory... Its the fact you get to see the person in all their silent glory. None of the flaws you hear/see when they're on the phone or next to you. Just remember the good shit as you look at them looking good. They know what they doing. No one purposely puts up ugly profile pics/avis... they want to look as good as possible



DONT FALL FOR IT HOES!

I know you sitting there, looking at his pic, thinking damn... He looking good... Its summer time... you feeling lusty... hot and bothered...remembering all the sweet shit he used to say, that smile, the way he grabbed your hair when he hi...ummm... We getting off track...

There is a reason y'all fell off. He rude, he doesn't call you back, he is a liar, a fraud, he took your money, he doesn't do the shit he did before you let him see your 5 for $25 Vickies, he doesn't even play the "special playlist" when you come over anymore...

Andre 3000 said it best "Spaceships, don't come equipped, with rear view mirrors"

Don't look back, look forward. If you think its gonna work then fine... BUT... if you know nothing is gonna happen other than a nut, some messed up hair, and maybe a walk of shame... is it worth it?

<---- Dont let this be you...

Modifications

one of my favorite sayings is

"Lift As You Climb"

My NEW favorite saying

"I you should lift as you climb, but you got to make sure your on the same ladder"