Oh So You Fancy Huh???

Now I love this song off the new Drake album (if you haven't heard it, you way behind people). Now, as much as I love this song... I think Drake is secretly trying to destroy the black community. Now Now Now... I love me some Drake... but he isn't from the Hood... he is from an upper middle class Jewish bred family Mulatto Nation Stand Up. And in Canada. I have family in all over Canada... their Hood is definitely not the same as ours. Yet, Drake has managed to be apart of 95% of the top "hood anthems" (I use this term for lack of a better term to describe the new popular songs received by the minority sector)...

So quick break down for those who HAVEN'T heard this song. It basically Drake, TI, and Swizz Beats coming together to celebrate women who aren't walking around her looking like Franky- "nails done, hair done, everything big". I more masculine version of Miss Independent by Neyo in my opinion. So like I said. I love the song...but he messing women AND men's lives up with it... How so you ask? Well let us explore the real life examples

Example 1- NARS Orgasm Blush is referenced in the song. Half the hoodboogas out here have never even heard of NARS! They were still busy buying MAC up after Dreams Song "Purple Kisses". NARS Orgasm Blush can run you anywhere from $25-$40 dollars. Now these heffas know they ain't got that for some blush... smh. So now they cutting back on food and bills just so they can buy this damn blush which they probably gonna apply too much of just so people can make note that they have blush on and f*ck they credit score up. Also, these joints is buying up all NARS products! So I cant get the only make-up remover that actually works because you trying to be Fancy huh? SMH at you Swizz Beats for adding that.

Example 2- Men now think that is a viable pick up line. Oh silly rabbit... your broke! If Drake went up to a girl saying that...they wouldn't leave with him cause that line was just so smooth... its actually corny... they would leave with him cause it MOTHER F*CKIN Drake! He got money fool. You broke ass don't got nothing but a metro card. I witnessed this poor man crash and burn because he tried to talk to this girl on the 5 train today (who if we were actually classifying who is fancy, i think she would be), and as she walked by, he goes "Oh so you Fancy, Huh?". She looked at him with disgust and proceeded to continue walking to the next car. As she leaves him, i guess he figured he would give it one more go and starts chanting "Go Cinderella, Go Cinderella..." o_O. Sir... #Stopit5. Sad thing he was cute. If he approached her on some real sh*t he could of gotten her digits. Why you did him dirty like that Drake...

I also went to an Essence dark and Lovely Panel/Casting Call ( I swear I don't work for Essence as much as I been talking about them). And I saw a large array of women, who I am sure all thought they were "Fancy". Now, my motto for 2010 and beyond now is "Lift as I Climb". I am trying to give back any way I can. Maya Angelou said it best with "You cant go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You have to be able to throw back". So I am gonna help my fellow ladies, and maybe men, here...

Whats NOT so Fancy...

-Lacefronts. I always said I haven't seen a good one other than on Beyonce. Now I know why. The hair stylist on the panel said they only look good on TV except for Brandy. They will never look good on real life because you see the glue and the prefect hairline and know immediately.

-Ash. You can get lotion for 99 cents... please don't walk around here looking like you just was laying on a white sand beach

-Not paying your bills to shop. Bad Credit is sooo Not Fancy..

-Buying up the latest reference in a rap song. You messing it up for people like me and now I cant get my NARS product without going to bumbahell and cant get a decent bottle of Moscato on the weekend *side eye at Drake AGAIN*

-Wearing heels when you cant walk in them. You look crazy *side eye to homegirl walking down 3rd Ave right now*

-Not knowing how to apply make-up. I see the line of color difference from your face to your neck. Your mascara is clumpy. Your eyeshadow is uneven. Key words ladies.... BLEND

-More hair on your body than your head... You not Fancy

-Putting a relaxer in your hair every other week cause you trying to keep it fresh. Being Bald isnt Fancy

-Louis, Gucci, Prada, and WIC... You not Fancy

-You wearing clothes with holes in it... I know that top is cute but either sew it up or throw it out...

-Your baby looking homeless and you looking like Rihanna... You not Fancy YOU TRIFLIN

-Wearing clothing that no longer fits just cause its still in style...

-Having sex for a cheeseburger (shout out to Maury)

-Having no ambition- so you just good not progressing? You not Fancy

-Wearing color contacts and acting like you not... You not Fancy

-Being a Myspace/Twitter model -_-

-Name Belts... diga no mas

-Baby Hair *side eye at Chili and Brandy* You not Fancy

-Painting the soles of Steve Madden Pumps to make them Louboutin

-Wearing hair color that doesn't fit you complexion... Please dont wear a light blonde if you chocolate or darker. You gonna look like Wesley Snipes in "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar" (love that movie)

Ok I could go on for days... But feel free to add more... we need to save ourselves and our people...

& I got my eye on you Drake... You not gonna bring me down...