Monday, February 28, 2011

Back Like I Never Left...

Im Back...

But Not Really...

My vacation was amazing and definitely needed. I got to be free from a week of stress and nonsense, and just enjoy myself. Now that I am back in NY, my whole outlook is different. I stepped off the plane to walk into bullsh*t. I took the day yesterday to regroup and organize. I put on my slow song playlist... and I cried. It's too be expected... its me. But I needed this. I needed to purge. I threw away David's things (RIP to the name Stinkface. We are at a point where we aren't even cordial, and that name was created with love. I still love him, but I do not like him). I mourned a relationship that has no hope of resurrection. Cards, pictures, teddy bears. I let them fall into a trash bag as I let the tears that held my pain fall down my face. I ended the relationship, but he ended the friendship, and that's what hurt more. I threw away clothes that I just didn't throw away because I felt there was no need to. I let go. I realize now, holding on to things that have no real purpose in my life is holding me back. I did a complete detox. I feel different. May sound crazy but its true.

Sh*t I even threw away my birth control pills... So you know I mean business.

I am not the same person who stepped on that plane on the 21st. My mind is different... my soul is lighter... my body relieved.

So I'm Back, but I'm not. I have a different outlook on the days, and a different meaning for the nights. Each second is like a first kiss, and I planning on frenching that mother f*cker...

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