I admit it... I have Girl Crushes...

Girl Crush-an overwhelming sense of awe felt by a girl for another girl elicited by varying causes ranging from deep respect to unadulterated lust. may result in the any or all of the following: general euphoria, prolonged sense of inspiration, desire for intellectual-intercourse with crush, simple sexual arousal, etc
ex-zoe bell is such a badass in deathproof, i am completely amazed at what she is capable of. she is my new girl crush (As per UrbanDictionary.com)

Now we all know my sick infatuation with Ms. Minaj



But she is not all...

Disclaimer- If for some reason Nicki Minaj is reading my blog, I'm not cheating boo... You my number one... If I know you are even in the same state, I will have my right boob out and waiting to be signed...

I have quite a few girls/women I think are absolutely gorg! For sake of friendships and to avoid awkward encounters, ill keep them to celebs and semi famous people...

Nia Long


I said it before... I'm gonna say it again... Nia is Banging... here she has no make-up on and she still looks amazing... I'm still hoping to wake up looking like her one day... *and Let us Pray*... Plus she has a great personality... Full effin package

Amber Rose


Its only right I have a girl crush on Nicki Minaj's BFF. One of the few Philly jawns I call cute, I really do love Amber Rose. She has a style that can go from hood chic to elegant. She has a I don't give a "eff you see kay" attitude that she covers well with a sweet smile (or some shades). She plus, she rocking the sh*t out that Caesar...

Stacy Dash


My first girl crush ever. I love Stacy Dash. Nah like... I LOVE Stacy Dash... She is the baddest to me. Hands down. She is the reason I always put highlights in my hair...lol... Oh Stacy

Chrisette Michele


S/o to the thick girls. I just love everything about her, her style, her voice, her twitter.... There is nothing else to say... just EVERYTHING

A. keys


I don't care if ya'll think she is a homewrecker Uzy, she is beautiful, makes amazing music, and has done more for the bettering of the world than any female artist... I dont think she is a homewrecker...I think they are genuinely in love... plus I don't like Moshanda...

Zoe Saldana


I had to get a Spaniard in here. Something about her free spirit, or just her look I love... She seems like she is down to earth...

Ok. So who are your girl crushes? ... feel free to add pics...

Side Note- I may put a post up with just some pics of honorable mentions... not full on "Girl Crushes"... Just more like "Girl she Cutes" lol...

Fashion Time!

So I been on a fashion kick... I watch House of Glam religiously every Tuesday, and every Wednesday I waste my hours researching new fashions. I get obsessive...dont judge. I found a few new fashion blogs via my Wami... aka Luwam...

The Fashion Bomb- http://fashionbombdaily.com/

Budget Chic- http://fdiary.wordpress.com/


I came across Nia Long in this pic



if i could look this good at her age shoot if i could look this good NOW, yall wouldn't be able to tell me nothing... smh

I am going to go shopping this week and pick up some staple items
-Camel Coat
-Colored gloves to spice up my current neutral colored coats
-Uggs (yes Uzy... UGG's)
-Ankle Boots
-Some Toms
-Scarves
-Jeans (i been wearing leggings too much, that for you Uzy)
-a few dresses
-few more belts
-LOTS OF COLOR

That's my biggest problem. My life is like my wardrobe. I LOVE color and can envision myself making bold statements, but when its comes time to make a final decision, I always opt for safe. I need to spice things up. I feel so Plain Jane, especially next to my friends. I do try, but its hard to find clothes in my size since I am not small (see how I didn't call my self huge or Precious light skin cousin). Larges are already scarce, and depending on the cut or material, I may need to go up to XL. then things gets pricey... Oh Jesus... so I just go to black safe. Well we taking risk, and I did say I was gonna shed the worry wort. So Im going to get some cute pieces this weekend. Bold, Colorful cute pieces... Wish me Luck

And if y'all see me looking a Hot Ass Mess (aka HAM), please stop me so I can return... Please and Thanks!

Changes!

Finally cut the relaxed ends off! Im free








T. lloyd said i look like i have a Jheri Curl..lol... all these textures is driving me mad but ill deal

Black Pain

Book I am reading during my Happy Week on depression in the black Culture. I am still only on the first chapter, but I am already deeply touched. I honestly thought i was sick in college. Physically sick. I thought depression a few times, but I convinced myself with my West Indian mentality that I had nothing to be depressed about.

I feel better now, but I honestly don't know if my depression is gone or just on sabbatical. I honestly do not know if it was depression. But I do know it was something that made me sleep 13+ hours. Miss class for no apparent reason. Cry myself to sleep in my big lonely RA room. Believe I had a heart condition to the point where I got Xrays on my heart because things would make me so nervous you could literally feel my heart jump... not beat... JUMP. I will finish reading this book and give a full review... but I just had to share.

Happy Week

Thats what I declared this week to be. Random I know right? Well, why you ask? Because its what i want to do...

My grandfather passed away Columbus weekend and a lot has been going on. I haven't seen him since I was 15 and hoping to get to Antigua soon to see him one last time, but I guess God's will to see him was stronger than mine. I am on bereavement, and during this time, I have realized life is too short. Granddad was 82, so his wasn't, but he did whatever made him happy. He had a smile that shone thru his eyes, and you can tell he enjoyed life. He hurt some people along the way with his actions, but honestly, everyone hurts someone at one time or another in their life, so why not get some joy out of the pain right?

Back to my Happiness Week. I am doing any and everything that makes me happy. Yes... I am. Some people *cough TLloyd Cough* wont believe this. They know me and know this will take some time. But its happening slowly and surely. First started with Homecoming weekend. Even though I missed a lot of my favorites, I got to spend time with my Uzo who has been MIA and I didn't realize how much I missed her, and I got to go on a road trip (in MY car) with my Soulmate and my Moucks. Sunday was so beautiful. Just driving in the car, looking at the fall leaves, listening to a bunch of random 90's songs, eating cheese fries, laughing, and screaming... It was the perfect kick off too this week. Monday I just chilled. I didn't get to sleep late cause I had to chauffeur Grandma, but I didn't mind. I love Grandma, and making her happy made me happy. I sat in my bra and panties and UGGs just watching TV and eating Chinese food... TMI? Guess what... I dont care. Lol. Today I had some errands to run, but that is ok. Because my happiness week is just the beginning, its the beginning of the rest of my life of happiness. So if i need to handle a few admin things this week, so continue this forever, then I'm cool.

Tomorrow is Granddad's funeral. I have more errands to run, but as expected, tomorrow is my faith day. I need to evaluate my closeness and relationship with God. Pray, meditate, reflect. Speak with Daddy, Granddad, and Grannie, who are all together right now, smiling their big smile down on me, and probably plotting on how to have their spirits tease me (their a bunch of jokesters)Thursday is errand day again, and Friday Sat and Sunday is resting.

I have a few things on my list to add to my happiness. reading, movies, cutting my relaxed ends off (yup you read right), finishing my resume and some applications, being naked as much as possible (I am trying to love and embrace my body more, judge if you must), go see my brothers first basketball game of the season (he my little Michael Jordan) spend qt with Stinkface (the PG and X rated kind), get a tattoo, and whatever the hell I feel. Shoot, I even made a PB&J sandwich... and that sh*t was good..

I'm sorry it took Granddad passing for me to come to this realization that I need to be happy, but at least some good came out of the pain. I want him to be proud of me. I want to be able to enjoy life to the fullest. I want when its my time to go, I have family members who think of my memory, and remember the big smile I always had that you could see in my eyes...

RIP Adonis Alexander Swift

Imprints

OK, so last night I went and spent sometime with two of my very close friends. You know how you miss something, but don't realize how much you miss it til you are there? Yea. That was this. We used to be together everyday, but as jobs, families, and other personal priorities took precedent, we went from seeing each other to once a day, to once a week, to once a month, to once in a while. I could always count on them to be there when I needed, and I hope they felt the same. But lately, since we hardly talk or text, nevermind see each other, I started to wonder if they didn't miss me as much as I miss them, or if I was hanging on to a friendship that just wasn't meant to be.

But last night, as I sat on my friends bed, and she updated me on the funny stories, and they listening to my endless issues, I felt like we were all still working together. I felt like it was back in the day when Stinkface would get mad cause we wouldn't spend any time together cause I was always with them. I don't know if they felt the same way, but it made the last 2 days of craziness kind of drift away.

These type of people, are the people I can always count on. They leave imprints on you. There are quite a few in my life, and for that I have to be grateful. No matter how long you apart, how long you don't talk, how long its been since a damn facebook wall post was made... when you guys get together, its like you saw each other yesterday. Remember how I say I can feel alone in a room full of people? These type of friends are the reason that I know if I was in California, lost in a maze, or a cornfield, or some crazy sh*t like that... if i needed them, there would be no hesitation to help me. My homegirl said to me last night "You will always have help. You know you wouldn't be going through anything alone". This heffa didn't even look up from the computer screen, it was a nonchalant convo to her, but that sh*t brought tears to my eyes. Even though you know if you need someone they will be there, it is nice to hear it every once in a while.

I kind of tear up writing this cause as I'm thinking about it, I got some banging ass friends. And to my ride or dies, my fiances, my boos, my wives, my twins, my soulmates, my pancake faces, my pancake butts, my oompas, my mouckeys, my snookies, my bounkeys, my personal advisors, my bubbles, my puff puffs, my malaria carriers lol, to my HOMEGIRLS... I love you guys, and I want you to know that I am here whenever you need me. Even if I haven't seen you months or even years, Me and Barney will be there, whenever you need us. You left a special imprint in my life that I wouldn't want to wipe of if I could cause I tried with some of you

Crazy Part is, my friends who inspired this post, may never even read it. Not cause they don't want to read my blog... just cause they will forget...lol... Love them hoes

True Love

As we sit in IHOP...

Me- Would you Love me if I were in a wheelchair?

Him- YUP

Me- Even if I was paralyzed from the waist down?

Him- Yup, I would still beat it up...

Me- But I wouldn't be able to feel anything!!

Him- That's not MY problem n*gga...


SMH... sad part is that I willingly agreed to marry this person...

Read Me Like Book

My Horoscope Today-

"The people of your sign usually have a fair number of friends and can be quite social at times, but you also tend to be loners in a sense. You are independent and dependent at the same time. You value your solitary time but you also crave company when you are alone. It is this dichotomy of your nature that often leaves you feeling confused and alone. Now, though, you have the chance to balance out these two sides of yourself by finding greater meaning in aloneness and greater joy in friendship."

That basically sums me up. Smh. Never understood it. Stinkface has said to me many of time... "How can you be lonely when you have so many damn friends". I am also the type to want to do everything and anything by myself, but, ask everyone's opinion, to see if its a good idea. I know. I am a weirdo. But now I have an explanation. Its destined in the stars...

PS- Yes I believe in zodiacs, and horoscopes, and destiny... it doesn't make me any less religious, because I believe God created everything, including those. We do not know everything God is connected too. There has been too many coincidences, too many common traits, too many instances for me to ignore the validity behind some of these statements.



*sigh* The Life of a Capricorn....

Me @ homecoming

Don't be shocked when you see me walk in with my hair looking like this

Im Whipping My Hair on These Hoes

Those who know me knew it was only a matter of time before I blogged about this...



I love this effin song. Jesus knows how I feel about Will and Jada having Willow running around here looking like a hot ass mess (I love me some cheetah print, but sometimes we have to say This. Is. Too. Much). She look like a Limited Edition Jungle Treasure Troll in this picture...but dammit I love her.

SideNote- Jada tried to turn the attention of her kids disastrous hair styles by creating her own... That didn't work. However, she did successful turn herself into an Avatar




Ok, back to the issue at hand. I love this song. Love Love LOVE! Who would of thunk this little 9 year old mini version of old Wendy Williams can do such a thing. The first time I heard this song I feel in love. Flipping my shoulder length locks over my shoulder, dancing around my room, while my brother watched me suspiciously out the corner of his eye while he played Mario cart. I know Stinkface tired of hearing the song cause i play it every time I get in the car...

I love this damn song.

I dont wear extensions, but I am about to put 20 inches of weave in for homecoming so when whip my hair comes on, I can have maximum hair whipage action going on

this is a judgment free blog

Now, just when I think I can't love this song any damn more.. Nicki. Effin. Minaj does the remix. Sweet 8lb Baby Jesus, I almost had a stroke. Y'all know I love me some Nicki....



*fans self*

As much as I talk about Willow, I am glad we have a young black girl on scene not talking about her boo thang or whateva nonsense the other young black female artist talk abo.... wait... there are no other young black female artist. So to finally have one, spitting a positive, catchy song, I am impressed. I love me some Justin Beiber even though I think he is the devil for becoming so popular so quick, and those signature bangs are only used to hide horns, or triple 6's, or some other mark of the beast and Miley Cyrus, we need some young minority role models other than... well damn I don't know any male or female under 18. What happened to the Immatures, and the Another Bad Creations? The Sammie's? The old school girl groups like Destiny Child circa 98? I fully support Willow in all her non-fashion related endeavors

So if yall see me in the street (to quote the good Serge aka Tata) "24 inches of the finest Bronco hair" flowing down my back... don't be surprised... just start playing Whip My Hair and watch the magic happen

Picture Updates!

Despite my current broke status, I went to MAC to check out the new Disney Villain line (which I love) and the lovely gentleman and the MAC counter in Macy's at Cross County beat my face (that means he did my make-up for those of you who think he attacked me). I don't wear a lot of make-up so I had to take pictures cause I may never look like this again. Lol












Clearly I was too hype. Also, Sunday the 3rd made a year without a perm! woohoo. That's the longest I have ever made trying to go natural. I usually cave in during the summer. Lol. I am so happy because I don't even feel the urge to perm anymore. Its not longer a struggle so I know this time is for good! I'm excited. I took a pic of my "fro" this morning when I woke up... *Caution* This pic even scared me... LOL






Please ignore my crusty lips... I don't even know why they look like that... smh... but we all friends on here right? Right... However, if this pic scared you a bit... scroll back up... hopefully you will get calmed back down... lol

Accountability

Happy Monday People!

I know, I have been MIA.... But things are settling down so I am trying to get back to posting on this more. So here are my life updates.

-Stinkface got his car
-Work has settled down
-I feel like a whole new person
-I got my car

Introducing Barney!



YUP! He is Purple, but I think it gives him character.

So, through all this, as excited as I was, I had a panic attack after I bought Barney. Crazy right. I felt like I signed my soul away to the devil. Lol. Its my first large purchase like this, and there is no refunds. Lol. I just got really really really nervous that I made a mistake. But of course, Stinkface told me I was crazy... Even my common law wife Dee said to calm down

Which leads me to the point of this post. I went with Dee to a work function this weekend, and her co-worker (I wont put your name on here, but you know who you are) saw me and says "I told Dee to bring you, I read your blog all time. Well, when you update it"

Now I am used to Tiff or Dani sending me threatening messages about posting, but I always thought it was because I consider them close friends, and they know that when I started this blog, I was so nervous no one would read it, that they were just being nice. To have someone that really has no loyalty to me say they love my blog, kind of made my night. I'm not a celeb, I don't have an interesting life or party hoping, dating a string of Rocawear models (even though my Stinkface is a looker), or anything that people see as exciting now. I just write when I am bored as a way to get my thoughts out and expressing myself.

I have a tendency to start things and not finish. Get bored with it or distracted and then abandon it. Tennis, Piano, Dance (one of things that still makes me sad that I stopped), all on my incomplete list. I REFUSE to add anything else to this list, especially this blog. I am accountable to other people.

So, I have a small request. Hold me accountable. Make sure if you don't see a post, call my ass out. Sometimes I guess I need a little push

Shout out to Apple Metro again