Good Girl Gone Bad

You ever heard a line but never really... like REALLY... understood it. That was my line. I heard it in Jay-Z and Rihanna songs, but its not until you live it that you understand.

I understand now.

I was always the good girl. Naivety and me were better friends than I ever knew. After January when me and my ex broke up, reality slapped me harder than Ike when Tina ain't sing the song the way he wanted her too. I didn't know what to expect, but I could of never expected this...

That relationship bubble I was in must of been made with bullet proof glass. Cause none of the ratchet shit going on penetrated through. I was so confused.

I ain't gonna lie, shit my ex- did to me hurt. Not cause I care about him (which I DID), but because I dead gave him my everything. And it wasn't good enough.

Then I fucked up and fell in like with another nigga. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe I didn't learn my lesson yet. He didn't do anything to hurt me except be a good person cause I couldn't help but care about him. So when I saw that it wasn't gonna work, I curved myself. One of my life lessons is know when to let go. You got to bow out with grace. Crazy part is I actually miss him more than I miss my ex I'd never admit it in public though. Not cause I want to be with him or anything, cause I understand that ship has sailed. But because he was a part of my life everyday for 4 months straight, and now we hardly speak... Friends to Lovers to Strangers post coming soon seem to be a common theme with me.

I asked one of my male friends "Doesn't it fuck you up a little bit knowing that when someone ask a girl the question 'Who hurt you?', that you're the answer"

He replied no without any hesitation.

And I made a vow when me and my ex first broke up to not become bitter. I feel like I'm there now. Someone told me that "being bitter is OK... staying bitter is the problem". I see their point, but I don't want to be bitter at all.

However, Old Sio is gone. The girl that actually cared has died, and an emotionless Phoenix has risen from them ashes of betrayal and naivety. How can you expect someone not change when you give them no choice?

How can you expect someone to not act strange when they dated a stranger for 8 years?

I'm not gonna hoe or anything, cause I dont have the capacity to spread my moot around like "I cant believe its not butter". Nope, not this quality moot magic... But I don't expect anything romantic. Actually, I am shying away from it. I may go on a date here and there and see where it goes...

But right now, only person I am interested in being in a relationship with is my money, and I got to make sure my bitch right before I get left.